Let Me Tell You This About That

Pivot Towards Joy

• Jessica Bollinger • Season 1 • Episode 8

Share episode

Send us a text

Hess and Delbert welcome their listeners to their Sunday morning podcast, sharing stories of gratitude, joy, and the importance of continual movement in life. They discuss the inspiring lives of Elliot and Jen, their journey on a sailboat named Pivot, and how adapting to life’s challenges can bring growth and happiness. Delbert shares his recent experiences at a heartfelt wedding in Charleston and reflects on the joys of friendship and celebration. Hess talks about the joy of catching up on Christmas traditions after a hiatus. They wrap up the episode with thoughts on gratitude, joy, and extending these feelings into everyday life.

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools.





Hess:

Hey, me tell you this about that. Welcome to our podcast. I'm Hess

Delbert:

And I'm Delbert

Hess:

and we're here on our Sunday morning chat and thanks so much for joining us.

Delbert:

Hess. I love the idea that you had for our topic today, and I'm coming to you live from Charleston, South Carolina, where I just went to a beautiful wedding. And I'll tell you a little bit about that too.

Hess:

Sweet. So y'all, this is why we wanted y'all to join us because every Sunday when we started these talks and it really just gives us this bounce back and sets us up for the week and Delbert our talk last. Last last Sunday, we were talking about coach Mark Pope and UK Wildcats and some of the slogans and things he does to try to lift his players up. I continued that continued over for me to, to Monday. I'm going to shut my door here cause I got a barking dog. I'm pivoting. That continued over with a friend on Monday for a discussion, a continued discussion. And Monday night wrote about it and this is what I wrote. You ready?

Delbert:

I'm ready. I

Hess:

with my friend Kirby yesterday about the quote, the magic of what you're looking for is in the work that you're avoiding. That's the quote that we talked about with Mark Pope. We have to learn to push through. We get the information as we push through. And my mind went to Elliot and Jen, and Their boat the Pivot. Now, everybody can watch Elliot and Jen. They have a YouTube video called Sho and Jo, and that's from their last name, Schoenfield and Johnson. And Elliot and Jen, they're two young college graduates on a world tour, and they had the intention to learn more about the world and more about themselves and to share it on YouTube. And then COVID hits Delbert, and they're stuck in India for seven months. make the most of it. They learn to cook really good food. They do what they can in the space where they are. They're still making connections and making the most of the situation. And when they got back to the U. S., COVID still had things on lockdown. they had the opportunity to have ownership in a sailboat. The sailboat on the was on the hard and it needed work. They worked on it, and in the process they discovered that this vessel was much too small to really do what they'd like. Being in the boat yard exposed them to nearby vessel, a 32 foot trawler, owner of the trawler wants to sell it and had it at a very low price. Jen and Elliot pivot again and buy the trawler, do some needed work, and they change the name of the boat to Pivot, that they seem to be doing a lot. The launched. They travel down the St. John River in Florida first to get used to boating. They gain information by learning from others, directly or through YouTube, and they take a boating safety course. first time, Delbert, they back into a slip. They hit some of the pylons. Oh, gosh, they were so dismayed, and they're wondering, What are we doing? And they decide not to abort it, but keep learning. They begin the great loop, and along the way, maybe in the Elliot has an accident, and he breaks his wrist really bad. He needs to get airlifted. gets surgery, and then he has to have rehab. They go back to the boat, it's too late in the summer to start the loop, so they retreat with the boat back to winter in Florida begin again in the spring. They do begin again. They travel the loop, meeting others, making friends, seeing the country and Canada, and learning all along the way. And I bring up Jen and Elliot my friend Kirby for this reason. In a boat, to turn, to pivot, for the rudder to work, you must have movement. If the boat has no momentum, you won't be able to turn. So in life, we must be moving forward. We collect information, we learn. From there, we can pivot if we need to change direction. So often, we can get stagnant, we can feel stuck. Kids out of school, what do I do? In a job, we don't feel productive, what do I do? Movement, it takes us, gives us the ability to pivot, to change what we need to change. It might be a diagonal back and forth. It might be like tacking a sailboat. That's using the wind in whatever direction it's blowing to be able to change the course, to move closer to where we want to go. So don't stay still is the lesson here. Begin and move forward. next step will appear, and then you can pivot.

Delbert:

love that so much. And that is so perfect for every single day of the week. Not just our Sunday chats. I'm going to think about that a lot when I'm working and just in my everyday life, I'm here in South Carolina because I kept moving. I traveled down here because of two wonderful friends who just got married last night, and I was telling Hess. What a blessing it is to know them. Their wedding was. Was so spiritual and it was so uplifting. Everybody was on the dance floor at this wonderful band. And it's just the kind of friends that say, we want to create this amazing experience just for you all. And so many people packed up and came. They pivoted what they were doing. They moved, they came down here from Japan, from Canada. Most of us came from Kentucky and just had this joyous celebration of these two beautiful young men who are starting their life together and they love Christmas. So it was very Christmas themed and at the end of the reception, we'd been dancing all night and they got up on the stage in Christmas hats. And just held hands and just jumped up and down together for joy. And the whole crowd was so excited. Jumping up and down with their hands in the air. Yeah. And then the way that we said goodbye to them is we all lined up, in two lines and they walked through it and they had given everybody these silver bells as a takeaway. It's like a little ornament. They also rang and we rang them out with silver bells. I tell you that I'm getting goosebumps and I'm getting a shiver up my spine. I've told my friends when we were eating lunch before we came back to get ready for the wedding. We are doing something right in our lives, that we are in this beautiful place, and we have the most wonderful friends.

Hess:

Yes. Wow. Wow. As you're joined together with these people from so many different places, you're have come to celebrate for this wedding you've met you've expanded your friends. You're so glad you know them. And now, more of the people who know them and you're the fabrics expanded of this connection that you have with the wedding party.

Delbert:

Yes, beautiful, a beautiful fabric was Woven even bigger and brighter I always really loved their parents, but, got to know them better because they're from upstate New York. Mark, his parents are from New York and got to meet his sister and his niece and Yes, it was just beautiful. And their friends are all happy, uplifting, so joyous. Just this wonderful, beautiful vibe. Yeah,

Hess:

That is so beautiful. What a great time. And I hear you say you have your flight leaving later today, tonight, because.

Delbert:

we're gonna stay my friend Shannon and I flew, and our other two friends, Angela and Ann They drove, so we're going to put a few of our things in their car so that we can just experience a little bit more Charleston. We love the city. It's just so beautiful and so historic. And as I was telling you, when we did a little walk down by the ocean, that was my getting my water fixed. It's cold here. So we just walked by the ocean all bundled up. But We came to a spot that they love history and they love preservation here so much. It's just so every single house is beautiful. Magnolia leaf wreaths on every door, and there was one spot on near the battery that was the directly across from Normandy beach. And so it's just so special to just stand there for a minute and take that all in, all the. The vastness of the ocean, but also just were right directly across right there from where that all happened. So it was just, it's just been so wonderful. So moved.

Hess:

A good recharge, huh? A good recharge with joy and celebration.

Delbert:

and I think, even as old as I am, and I forgot to take my high heels off dancing like that with your friends and laughing and being joyful. That is so good for your soul.

Hess:

Absolutely. Absolutely. Ah, that shows a good, healthy crowd. A good, healthy, joyful crowd when everybody's out on that dance floor.

Delbert:

Oh, this band was so good. They were so amazing. Now their name escapes me. I think it's velvet something. I'll find out. We'll make sure everybody knows about them because they're so good and they were joyful. They were so happy to be there and celebrating with Mark and Logan. So

Hess:

We've talked before on our pod about being a witness. That everybody came there to witness them and their love.

Delbert:

right.

Hess:

Nice. Nice. Something I've immersed myself with this week, Delbert, is listening more about, more to Martha Beck. She's a writer and a coach, and she's written a lot of good books. And she's discovered in her life about four of that, that movement, that pivot is being on track to feel joy. And she says, so tracking joy that we know we're not joy if we're suffering and we're able to be there, we're able to feel it, wait, this doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel joy. Does this bring me joy or not? We're always tracking for joy. And she says part of finding the track is when we lose the track and then we notice that it's not there and then we can pivot for that track that brings us joy.

Delbert:

Oh gosh, that is perfect. That is perfect. I love that. I hope that our listeners are tracking joy or start tracking joy and pivot when they need to correct things and make their life better. Beautiful. Enjoy.

Hess:

Yeah. And so we got to feel the pain and discomfort and then track for joy, right? And if we stay in the pain and discomfort, that can make us blaming and critical, right? feel what you're feeling and then we're okay. Does this bring me joy where it's can be our compass.

Delbert:

And like we've talked about sometimes about, self care and boundaries. Just, once we're knocked down and we're feeling that pain, just to get back up, remember to keep moving forward.

Hess:

Yeah. Delbert, there's been a time or two in our long friendship. You've said you just got to get out. You got to get out of the house.

Delbert:

Even if it's COVID and you're just going to target to talk to the cashier with your mask on, you got to get out.

Hess:

A long time ago when I was young and I was just out of college and I was feeling bogged down or feeling bad. I used to take my dog to the nursing home and that's all I had to do is just, if I got myself out and got in, walked into that nursing home with my dog, boom, it was gone. was gone.

Delbert:

Get out of your own head and get out there, right? Sometimes we need to do that. And this has been a wonderful weekend of getting out and really feeling gratitude for the life that I've created with. This friend group and other friend groups and I really have taken a beat to say how fortunate I am and I You know, I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about all the blessings I have of all the friendships that I have in my life and I hold them dear and I and they're very valuable to me

Hess:

That's something Mark Pope said also, right there. We're we're we're our circles are connecting. if we're in that grateful place, We can be happy no matter what we have if we're in that gratitude place. And so

Delbert:

Exactly.

Hess:

some table for lunch down in Charleston, you're like, how lucky are we? How lucky are we that we are sitting here in this beautiful place? now you're talking more and expanding that gratitude to these friends that I have. I'm so grateful, so lucky to have these friends.

Delbert:

Exactly. And it feels good to acknowledge it, and to feel it, and to know it, it just, it feels so great. Yes,

Hess:

As switching that and to see that light there's always something to be grateful for. There's, we could look around and say, Oh, I'm looking outside, but as I'm looking outside, how many miracles are going on right in front of my eyes?

Delbert:

And you see a lot on the farm for sure.

Hess:

Yeah, I think we all can and do. I went Delbert, pod podsters for the past three years. It's been three years since we've had a Christmas tree. I told Cathy and I decided together, my wife and I week, okay, I can go on Friday and get a Christmas tree. I'm going to go get a Christmas tree. Delbert, we get our Christmas tree at this Christmas tree farm. This wonderful man who grows a special tree that nobody else can grow. think it's a Norfolk pine or something. I forget exactly, and I'm so sorry that I forget the name of it. But he won't even sell these trees live. Sometimes you dig up a tree and you put a ball around it. You can send it, he says, because nobody can grow this tree. You can't take this tree home and grow it. There has to be a special kind of soil. Anyway, Delbert, we decide to get a tree, and I give him a call, and he goes, and I apologized and I said, Tom, I got to tell you that I haven't bought my tree somewhere else. We just haven't bought a tree. He goes Jess, we're closed. And my heart dropped, Delbert. I thought, oh, no, something's happened in the past two years. I haven't realized that he's closed. And he goes, I go, you're closed. And that's always good to mirror somebody when you're in kind of shock, and I said, you're closed. And he says, yeah, we're sold out. And he says, people start coming in September and August and they tag their tree.

Delbert:

Oh my goodness

Hess:

Yeah. So he says, but I have a tree for you all. I'll always have a tree for you. So I give him a call Friday. I said, I'm on my way. And I said, you need cash or check. And he goes, we take credit cards now. Okay. And just this amazing person. He is horticulturist and just an expert on trees and he consults and all these, some of these beautiful horse farms all have him do their consulting on their trees and their properties. Anyway, he's well, just, I can't say enough about him. I get in his little gator, little cab and We're driving out to Little Grove and I see it, I see the tree there and I go, that's the one. He goes, you want that one? Yeah. And then he's got some little fellows that help him that are so amazing. he's so amazing. I said where do you find these guys? He goes, you know those guys that are standing on the corner saying need food? And he's just teasing them, and they, the, this little guy, he takes the twine and he wraps it, starts, he ties it to a limb and he wraps the twine and makes it like a pencil, and then he gets his, then he gets his battery powered chainsaw. I said, are those things fabulous or what? There's battery powered chainsaws now, and he cuts it and then he trims off the bottom stuff, and puts it in his mule, and then we ride back, and, oh gosh, it's just so beautiful. this, like this community, knowing Tom and this, I'm just so grateful, such beautiful people anyway. So putting the tree up Delbert doing this for myself and for Cathy, it just feels so good getting those ornaments back out. And I forgot how special our ornaments are. They each have a special memory, putting those ornaments on. I re experienced each memory. I placed each ornament on the tree.

Delbert:

Perfect

Hess:

yeah. that was a reminder to do something good for yourself that you need to do. You can do it for yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

Delbert:

bring me so much joy. I put mine up. I think I already said that the day after the election And my neighbors sometimes will say what are you taking that thing down, you know It gets to be January one way after thf least of the epiphany, of course, and

Hess:

And you also put it up for your neighbor cat because she likes to

Delbert:

Yeah,

Hess:

there and look at it through the window.

Delbert:

little cat Fluffy. I put a tree in the sunroom for Fluffy. He likes to lay on his back and look at his little Christmas tree. It's just a little one, but he's got a new job. I got so many packages from Amazon that Fluffy decided that he's gonna sit on my front porch and guard my packages until I get home and that's his new job.

Hess:

That is amazing.

Delbert:

He's

Hess:

fabulous.

Delbert:

He sees me pull up and he's my work here's done. It kind of stretches. I said cats like to have jobs. That's great. Just like you've got Munchkin, your little barn cat. I've got Fluffy guarding my packages so nobody gets my Christmas presents.

Hess:

Okay, so the theme of the day is and what you're going to do now is you're going to move your, you're going to pack up, put some bags in your friend's car, and you're going to go walk around, you're going to check out, walk around Charleston, have a wonderful day, eat some more seafood,

Delbert:

Yes.

Hess:

That and be

Delbert:

How much good food. Yeah. Podsters, we hope you have a beautiful week and get out and enjoy. Keep moving. Pivoting. Pivoting.

Hess:

it in gear, have it in gear. We love you. Hey, please like click to your friends follow. And we'll talk to you next week. Peace and love.

Delbert:

and love.

Hess:

And I want to commend again Carla Gover that wrote our song. It is a fabulous song. I love listening to the song. So after we close out, after we thank you for being here, listen to Carla's song. Love you all. Bye.

Delbert:

Bye.