Let Me Tell You This About That

Finding Light in the Darkness: A Holiday Podcast Journey

• Hess and Delbert • Season 1 • Episode 10

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Join hosts Hess and Delbert in this heartwarming holiday episode of "Let Me Tell You This About That." Together, they reminisce about their shared childhood experiences, discuss the importance of staying motivated with Mel Robbins' 5-Second Rule, and emphasize the significance of bringing light into each other's lives during the darkest time of the year. From touching family traditions and holiday chaos to feeding children through charitable efforts, this episode reminds us all to embrace imperfection, celebrate togetherness, and keep moving forward with love and light.

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools.





Hess:

Welcome everybody. Thank you so much for showing up today and listening to us. This is Hess from Let Me Tell You This About That.

Delbert:

Hey, good morning. And this is Delbert. And we wanted to talk to you a little bit today about movement and our decision to start this podcast, just to spread our conversation and keep it moving. Keep that spark that, that lit us and brought us together after all these years. In first grade. Hey, who's class were you in first grade?

Hess:

I think I was with Sister Carmen Sita.

Delbert:

Oh, that's fourth. That's fourth grade. No,

Hess:

great. Sister Marie Bosco, maybe.

Delbert:

Bosco. And she was just as mean as Sister Carmen Cedis. So that's why Yeah, that's why you're thinking that. But yes, Sister Marie Bosco. Man, she was strict. I was scared to death of her. But anyway, all those years ago,

Hess:

Yeah. So we want to thank you all for showing up. We're excited because we're getting a little bit of a fan club. Some of my friends one of my friends, I forgot who it was and I'm sorry about that, but I so appreciate you said something like, Hey, what time you, you got a new podcast coming out Sunday, right? Yeah. What time does it come out?

Delbert:

I love it. So great. So nice. My cousins are all listening. That could get us a huge fan base. Just my family listening from the big Irish family and you too has, yeah, we just

Hess:

I've got 32 first cousins. I need to have them all and subscribe.

Delbert:

My cousins are on it and and now my second cousin. So yeah, I'm excited to keep. Keep moving forward and keep this going, keep the spark. And we're hoping especially right now during the holidays, we can be a little light in your life because it's the darkest time of the year. And I heard this rabbi give this beautiful sort of toast or, just A great thought to go into the holidays and that's to be the light and all the darkness. Yeah. And that's what all our candles and our Christmas tree lights represents are the Hanukkah candles, everything that we do to bring light into people's lives, even in just a small way, but turning your Christmas tree lights on at night.

Hess:

right the we are now on the first day where the days are going to start getting a little bit Longer and I'm excited about that It helps me move it helps me keep moving through the winter knowing that The day the daylight is getting a little bit longer every day that keeps me going forward here at the farm. It gets a little bit more difficult in the winter time. When the temperatures dip below freezings, we could have a water, a horse water freeze, or you can't go ride because it's too cold for the horse. And, it's hard to get here. It's hard to move. It's you're switching the blankets on and off the horses. It's more work, but just. Knowing that the days are getting a little bit longer helps my heart. We

Delbert:

Yes. Yes. We're more spring, summer and fall people. Yeah. We like to be outside and

Hess:

to be on the water.

Delbert:

love to be on the water. It's a little too chilly for that. Although Dewey and I did, try to beat Hank Shank's record of being the last person out of the Ohio river and the first person in, we did swim all the way down to the VFW from her dock and

Hess:

that was in January or

Delbert:

we did it in January and February just to make sure.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

and that's one of my brother, Jay's friends that lived on the river and just this really cool adventurous guy that swam across the river. He always wanted to be the first person to jump in the springtime, even though it was freezing cold. And he always swam until like late December, so anyway I don't recommend it. We'd have to have like towels and blankets on her doc to warm up. We were doing it to try to lose weight.

Hess:

Get the metabolism going.

Delbert:

Get it going. And

Hess:

everybody, I'm just, Delbert, I'm just stretching right now. I want everybody podcast about pivot. We would talk about being on the water and when you can't change direction If you don't, if you're not, if you're an idol, you gotta be either in, forward or reverse to, for the rudder to work on a boat. And Delbert, I had all kinds of light bulb moments this week. I saw Mel Robbins being interviewed on, on, in a podcast, on, on YouTube, excuse me, on YouTube of with Oprah Winfrey and that hooked me into Mel Robbins and started listening to stuff by her. And then one of my clients yesterday told me about her five second rule. And I go, okay, I'm in. And I started with a Ted talk that she did. And then I got her book, the five second rule. Delbert, let me explain what that is.

Delbert:

yes, tell me I'm dying. I

Hess:

Like our brain is wired for survival. And it senses that anything is going to be tough or hard or dangerous, it wants to hold us back. I'll be laying in my bed, I have my alarm set for 4. 15 in the morning for 5am workout. And the alarm goes off. if I lay there more than five seconds, my brain, I've got this washy part of my brain. is my brain that says something's going to be too hard, just stay in bed, sleep. You really don't need to do this today. It's leg day. You don't need to do that or something, discovered through a tough time in her life. And she had watched, she watched some rocket launch the night before. And you know how when the rockets launch, they go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Blast off. She decided she, instead of hitting her snooze alarm 10 times the next morning, like she had been doing, she was gonna, she was gonna get up like a rocket. when the alarm first went off

Delbert:

love

Hess:

next

Delbert:

it.

Hess:

she thought 5, 4, after the alarm went off, she said 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, blast off. It's whoa, okay. I'm listening to this book, Delbert, on my way to my, see my mama in Louisville. And I practiced it with her. It worked.

Delbert:

That's awesome. I love it. Now I do the Goldie Hawn stretch, wake up slowly. But I did remove the snooze option from my alarm. Because it's just too easy. And then I go to hit it and I know it only says off and I'll miss something. I got to get up and get going. So I do my Goldie Hawn stretch. But I'll try to blast off tomorrow.

Hess:

The way this works, and it's really actual brain science stuff, because we got to flip our amygdala. And that's the limbic part of our brain that helps protect us. We got to flip it to to go up to our prefrontal cortex.

Delbert:

Yeah.

Hess:

I go see my mama and I get there and she still has her gym jams on. Sometimes she has those kinds of days where she just doesn't want to Yeah.

Delbert:

I hear you. That's awesome.

Hess:

and I say, Hey mama, and we visit and I said, you want to go put your clothes on the clothes are laid out on her bed. the other room, and she says maybe the quarter after. Okay. so then when a quarter after came, which was like, 10 in 10 minutes I said, okay, it's a quarter after 54321 blast off. And she says, okay. Okay. And she gets up.

Delbert:

Love it. Oh, my gosh. Jackie. Oh, blasting off. Love it.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

it.

Hess:

It also can be used for if you're worrying, if you get anxiety, because then the anxiety thoughts are the worry. Now, Mel says, worry Is that is a habit? Okay. It's not a disposition or something. It's a habit and you got to get out of the habit. So I started to have an anxious thought. And if you go 54321, boom, let's get a new thought. It just helps it change it faster.

Delbert:

Yes, you're so amazing. I love that. I love this.

Hess:

not amazing. I learned, this is what my grandpa used to say, Delbert learn from others who have learned from others. I'm just open to learning.

Delbert:

Exactly. Always be open to learning that, if we just live our lives that we're never gonna stop and we're never gonna stop learning that. Oh, gosh, that opens so much up for you in your life. Just not keep that motion even in your brain, right? I

Hess:

so y'all, this is listening. This is countdown. To an intuition of or doing something that's good for you. Okay. It's not about, it's not about, it's not about an actual thought process. I got to really think this out. If I really want to marry this person, think as much as you want about that. Think as much as you want about getting a job, but when you feel like something might be good for you, you can't dawdle more than five seconds before you take some kind of action, write it down really quick. Walk forward really quick, get up make some kind of forward movement with it. If any way that you can within five seconds, or your brain's going to say, no, this would be hard. This might be dangerous. Don't do it. So if you think about somebody that looks interesting, you might want to talk to go over there and talk to them. Five, four, three, two, one, go. You think of something good, you want to do five, four, three, two, one, do it. Yeah,

Delbert:

love that, Hess. You're so awesome.

Hess:

so we, this is a hard time for many people for you that might be listening and we acknowledge that and any way that you can relight your light and know that your light matters and let it shine because nobody else's light is just like yours that move forward and be a bright spot, be your bright spot for you. Do something good for you. Yes.

Delbert:

Hess before we got on, that no family's perfect, no family's got, the perfect Christmas card, hallmark, or, movie, but I decided this morning when I woke up and my house was a complete disaster and my youngest daughter's coming into town to stay with me, that I would focus on getting Mermaid Cove, my guest bedroom ready first. And that when she got here, we would just, lean into everything that we have going on and that I'm going to do my best to get everything ready, but I'm going to embrace the chaos. I'm going to embrace the imperfection and the perfection is in being together and sharing the light. And all of the intentions that we have. So I'm going to blast my Christmas music. I might listen to a comedian or two and also probably try to get elf on the TV while I'm rapping. But whatever it is that you can do to spark that joy in your life. And just to remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be with love.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just love that. And that light when you see somebody come through the door, just see them coming through a waterfall, beautiful light and love, and know that you're welcome can carry that too.

Delbert:

So has one of my favorite memories of Christmas. My papaw and mamaw didn't have a lot of money. And my grandma, one year she made all of us. Handmade doll or stuffed animal and they had this big long couch in their living room. And we had this aunt, aunt Maddie, my Papaw Charlie's sister was, she had to be buried in a piano box. Okay. And she could take the whole couch up. And just a little bitty bit of space for Uncle Pie, her husband, to sit on. He was real skinny. And that big whole couch, she lined all these dolls and handmade stuffed animals up on that couch in her birth order. So that when we walked in, those little dolls and stuffed animals were sitting there looking at us. But and that was my sister Carol's favorite kid favorite Christmas ever. But every time we walked in, not just the holidays, every time we walked in, my papaw will be sitting in his easy chair in the living room and he would applaud. It was like the tonight show, he'd be like, yeah, you've come to the Watsons, and he, and then everybody in the, the applause would get bigger and bigger. As the. The person walked in, always said, Papaw Charlie, he was just really this bright star, but he made all of us the stars of the show too, as though we were stepping into this, and it made it so magical. And so it doesn't matter how much money you have, you can be so happy and welcoming to everybody that walks over that threshold.

Hess:

Yeah. That, that goes back to there you are. My story of that is my friend Maya is telling the story about her her daughter and her daughter's husband had two kids. And when the husband's parents they lived with them for a while. And any of the kids would come into the room, they would say, there you are. beautiful, and

Delbert:

That is beautiful.

Hess:

yeah, it's a recognition. And instead of like when the, when your child walks in the room, you don't say, did you brush your teeth? You say, there you are. Just the recognition and a lot of Hispanic cultures. And when I'm at any kind of gathering with Hispanic people, it's so beautiful. When someone arrives, they go around to each person. They look them in the eye and they shake hands.

Delbert:

Oh, I love that.

Hess:

Beautiful. So beautiful. It's an acknowledgement.

Delbert:

Yes. That might be why little babies like peekaboo so much.

Hess:

Say more about that.

Delbert:

I don't know. Just, it makes them laugh so hard. Have you ever heard a baby laugh when you do peekaboo with them?

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

They're like, you left, but you came back and there you are. It's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost like a baby's first joke. I think, jokes for babies. Let's write a book about it. No. But anyway,

Hess:

Sweet.

Delbert:

Yeah, I just think everybody likes to be acknowledged and that's just Or you know when they stand up in their crib and jump up and down when you come in the room. I think,

Hess:

love that. Oh my gosh.

Delbert:

that just,

Hess:

that fun or what?

Delbert:

your heart just almost explode.

Hess:

Oh, just as soon as you said that, my heart melted

Delbert:

Oh, it's the best feeling because they're always so glad to see ya, and you're dragging

Hess:

dogs.

Delbert:

your dragon, And you're, but that, that's your blast off moment as a parent, right? You walk in there and they're like, yay, there you are, and jumping up and down in their little crib And it gives you the energy you need to. Change their diaper, get breakfast, do all the things. But I was going to say about I'm pivoting back a little bit to the chaos because in that joyful moment, there's a lot of chaos involved too, right? Do you remember that movie that Steve Martin and Rick Moranis were in called Parenthood

Hess:

Yep.

Delbert:

and Rick Moranis had just one child and Wanted them to like, had all these learning disciplines that they did and wanted them to be perfect. And then Steve Martin had three kids and, that, weren't potty trained, put buckets on their head, had anxiety, screamed all the time in public and he was, he and his wife Mary Steenburgen embraced all the joy and all the chaos. And they had this little montage at the end of it just being this big, beautiful rollercoaster ride, and just embracing all of that love and that happiness and the joy, the sorrow, everything

Hess:

Wow.

Delbert:

in the montage. And I'm like, I'm going to make my Christmas like that montage.

Hess:

And that's what you're in control of, Delbert, as you were talking, like you were gonna hold the space. So keep your light shining or in, in your Christmas celebrations.

Delbert:

I will. I will.

Hess:

Yeah. And something you said that before we started recording, you said, just going to go you needed to do some stuff and you're going to run reindeer

Delbert:

As soon as we finish recording, I got to, I'm going to turn that song on because I got to run around this house with a vacuum and, stuff everywhere. I've been working all week and feeding kids through Carol's kitchen, which we're going to talk about soon. It's my family's charity and

Hess:

and blessings in a backpack. How many kids did you feed this past week in the last days of school?

Delbert:

counting, distributing at blessings in a backpack at one of our favorite little schools. And my brother was Santa and my niece Lizzie was an elf and my sister in law Jenny was an elf. And we just had the best time with my company. A lot of my friends, Kentucky select properties came and worked too. We fed 270 children that day sent him home with food for the whole Christmas break. They all got brand new backpacks from the school. So Santa and the helpers got to put their backpacks on them and put the food in it. And they got candy canes. They got to talk to Santa. So that was Friday. And then the last, the rest of last week, we fed an additional 251 students. home. So it was just a fantastic week. I'm a little bit tired, but I'm getting

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

bounce back. And you've got people coming for breakfast from the barn this morning where y'all having like a big, Oh

Hess:

Three people that work for us at the I have three people that work for me and Kathy has an assistant trainer and teacher that works with her and we're having, and then we have some extra help on Sunday and everybody's come in. We made the breakfast casserole last night, Kathy and I did, I was chopping. Peppers and onions and Kathy was doing the sausage and we made it last night it's out of the refrigerator now so it can warm up some we got the sausage casserole We're doing I can smell them bait the bacon right now Delver cats making the bacon and we're gonna do some barnyard waffles We have a waffle maker that makes barnyard waffles. It's a barn. There's a waffle. There's a waffle. That's a barn There's a waffle. That's a chicken a pig and a cow

Delbert:

my gosh. I love it.

Hess:

to celebrate and to thank everybody, because like I said, it's not easy in the winter or the hot summer, walking back and forth out in the outdoors and doing all the work and chores that we've done. This place wouldn't be here, this farm. We have 92 acres and we have about 30 horses here at the farm. It would not be here without the beautiful people that are here helping make it happen. And we're going to celebrate them, today at nine o'clock this morning. So

Delbert:

Wow. And think about all the farmers out there that work so hard to produce all the food that we're going to eat.

Hess:

yeah,

Delbert:

is such a hard job. We have a friend that lives on a farm, fancy farm. I

Hess:

It lives. They, yeah, they live on a tobacco corn soybean farm down in Fancy Farm, Kentucky, in Western Kentucky. That's the name of the town. Down in Delbert Fancy Farm.

Delbert:

know, I love that she lives on a fancy farm. On a farming fancy farm. Yeah, it's awesome. And then her daughter is a dairy farmer.

Hess:

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Delbert:

So for the farmers.

Hess:

yeah. So Cynthia is a classmate from Sacred Heart and married a good fella down there and has little, has a has a big farm down there.

Delbert:

She's a hoot. Yeah.

Hess:

And fancy farm y'all in Kentucky, there's a big political rally that happens and her church down there in fancy farm all the meat, does all this pork stuff for the fancy farm picnic that happens every August and all the politicians of Kentucky go down there and they give their speeches. And it's one of what like the old times

Delbert:

Yeah,

Hess:

It's, before cable TV and stuff, it's one of the old times where the way to get your message out was to have a little rally.

Delbert:

right.

Hess:

is where politicians from every political party go and they do the little stump speeches.

Delbert:

And they, yeah, and they've kept that tradition going. It's really cool because it's a really big deal. With Kentucky politicians

Hess:

Okay. So back to moving forward. 5, blast off. Think of, think about doing that. If you ever think of something you need to do, go that 5, Okay.

Delbert:

and then run, reindeer.

Hess:

And then run, reindeer. Yeah.

Delbert:

a lot. I feel we told you this about that and that, but

Hess:

then we told you a little bit about this, about that. And then the other, we jumped around, but a

Delbert:

there's a lot going on in the holidays. A lot of chaos and a lot of

Hess:

lot

Delbert:

motion.

Hess:

around

Delbert:

Yeah, just like this podcast, but we love you all. And we hope that whatever you're celebrating, you can be the light and have a beautiful holiday. As we head into the new year, gather what you're thankful for and leave the rest behind.

Hess:

Peace and love everybody. Thank you so much for listening. Peace and love. Delbert.

Delbert:

Peace and love has some peace and love. All our listeners. We love you.

Hess:

Love you. Bye.