Let Me Tell You This About That

The Power of Joy: Conversations on Positivity and Planning

• Hess and Delbert • Season 1 • Episode 13

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In this uplifting episode, Hess and Delbert engage in a heartwarming conversation about finding joy in everyday moments and the importance of planning for happiness. They discuss topics ranging from the beauty of keeping a Christmas tree up well past the holidays to the enchantment of spontaneous trips. Delbert shares an inspiring story about a memorable trip to New York City with their Darling, emphasizing the power of manifesting dreams and maintaining a positive outlook. The duo reflects on the importance of being around uplifting people and finding joy in simple, free activities. They also touch on the balance of preparing for life's challenges while focusing on joyful experiences. Hess and Delbert wrap up by encouraging listeners to surround themselves with positive influences and to make joy a central part of their planning process. Join them for a delightful and motivational conversation that will leave you inspired to embrace the sparkles in your life.

Jose is getting his chemo--Help my friend José wipe out the Stage 4 cancer in his body!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==





Hess:

Hey, welcome everybody. You are listening to our podcast. Let me tell you this about that. And I'm Hess.

Delbert:

Good morning, I'm Delbert coming to you live from the big green couch Still staring at my Christmas tree. Can't take it down. It's one of the prettiest ones I've ever had.

Hess:

Now you say you leave your Christmas tree up until Epiphany.

Delbert:

After the Feast of the Epiphany It's over. Yeah, that's over. I'm just

Hess:

Oh, the Feast of the Epiphanies already happened.

Delbert:

yeah

Hess:

Okay.

Delbert:

It's when the wise men come,

Hess:

Okay.

Delbert:

And so once that happens You know, that's, you're really supposed to take everything down, but, I just enjoy it

Hess:

Is your tree white?

Delbert:

it is

Hess:

so that kind of looks good with the snow out the picture window, right?

Delbert:

It does, I have a lot of sparkly stuff on it, and this snowfall is very sparkly.

Hess:

It is.

Delbert:

I was coming home the other night and I was just like, Oh my, is anybody seeing how sparkly this is? I was, it was just me out on the road a little bit late it was good cause I got home and I salted my driveway a little bit more so I didn't get stuck yesterday.

Hess:

Huh.

Delbert:

But that, reminds me of what we're going to talk about today, planning, planning And Inevitably in life, we're going to have things like a big snowfall or maybe a fire or maybe, life, things that happen that we have to be prepared for. I'm not a big planner for catastrophe. One of my neighbors asked me what I had for the. Being shut down for a few days for snow. And I was like I got two Novena candles and a bottle of vodka, and a can of coffee. I should be okay. I just really, it bums me out to plan for things like that. I love to plan for joy. I love to plan my day for work because that gives me joy, but I also love to plan trips and you and I were just Both fortunate enough to go away and I just, I love planning for that and I've got a little quote for everybody start out the new year with.

Hess:

Okay, y'all sit back, get ready for this quote.

Delbert:

It's one of my favorites. I put it on postcards sometimes to send to my clients just because I just love it so much and I think it's a great way to start the new year. by Wilfred Peterson. Walk with the believers, the dreamers, the courageous, cheerful, planners, the doers, The successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground.

Hess:

Nice. Nice.

Delbert:

yourself with good people.

Hess:

People that'll raise you up. People that make

Delbert:

up.

Hess:

you better.

Delbert:

And I wrote a list of things that are free because not everybody can go away on a trip. Picnics are free. Walks are free. Swinging in the park is free. Looking at the sunrise and the sunset, driving around, looking at Christmas or holiday decorations. blowing bubbles. You can, even if you don't want to have a picnic, you can just take a blanket and sit it down outside, look up at the clouds. So many, we have so many beautiful parks here. We have so many beautiful national parks and state parks here in Kentucky. We're so fortunate. There's so many free things to do. And I was reminded that going to New York, just walking down the streets, taking, drinking it all in,

Hess:

you.

Delbert:

wow, there's so much to see there, so many free things to do. And yet it's a really expensive city to live in, but fun to go and visit for a couple of days. And,

Hess:

I have I have a lot of associates, Imago therapists that live in New York City, and I'm, I get supervision, and there's four people on my screen out of six people, and four of them live in New York City, and this one gal, I really admire. She talks about, we do a little check in, and she talks about all these things she's finding out to go to and to go see. Like what you're saying, Delbert, and there's just so many things like the botanical garden and all sorts of stuff. And she's an explorer in this civilization of New York City. She's an explorer.

Delbert:

We can explore our own hometowns. We can all be explorers just right where we are.

Hess:

Yeah. Coming in from out of town, I was at Green Turtle Key with some friends with family and with just Cathy and I for the past, for the last week. The sun comes up there at about 6 58. So it comes up about an hour earlier than here in Lexington, Kentucky. The sun just came up about 15 minutes ago here at eight o'clock anyway. Now I'll look for it. When I come home, I bring those fresh eyes back to the home place. And I like that turn from a trip of paying attention to the sunrise. What time is it? And what's the sky looking at looking like right now? And I talked to you all about that five, four, three, two, one, blast off. And I did that every morning there. I'd wake up about 6 15 and I could just stay laying there or I'd say 1 blast off, get up, get your coffee, Jess, and go ahead and walk out there to the beach and sit there and watch that sunrise and help just get me going. And I always feel better for that. So I can imagine this looking forward to list. This list, thinking about things that bring you joy, being around people, having something to look forward to, being around people that raise you up, that have their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. That, that you, that can attract joy

Delbert:

exactly. Plan for joy, plan your life around joy, whether it's just a small little trip the park or a nice trip. I recently got to go to New York city with one of my darlings. My grandkids call me darling and I call them the darling society. My oldest had been manifesting this art installation that was done in 1987 in Germany. It's called Luna. It's a bunch of artists that did this together and it was a political statement and also just joy was a joyful celebration with lights and music and these wonderful people that worked on restoring this. It was, this whole installation was just in some storage containers. In Texas and my grandchild read about them and after decades, this team of people work together, them back together. And we went to New York City to see it at the shed and I was like, you manifested that you helped manifest that because you were so interested in it and you read about it. You kept educating yourself and you were longing for it to come. And I want you to realize the power of that. Of dreaming of manifesting. And so we did a lot of free stuff in New York City, and then we did splurge a little bit and stay at the Chelsea hotel, which was cool. When we come back from the exhibit, my grandchild would sit in the Chelsea hotel, like many artists have done. Throughout history and sketch and draw and dream keep being that magnificent. You keep doing that was just a two day quick trip, but has sweet friend who used to live there who was helping me navigate and plan. So I had it planned every single second of it almost planned, but then I gave us a little flex time. And that was when started sketching and really just. reeling in everything that they've done in the city. And we walked through Times Square in the snow. We went to the Rockefeller center and saw the big tree lit up. the hotel was still decorated. So it was just so magical. And I thought, wow, did that. Just on a last minute kind of thing as a Christmas sweet 16 present, because they,

Hess:

you.

Delbert:

yeah, for my darling, because they just expressed how much they love this exhibit. And I never, I didn't get it fully until I got there and actually saw it, and so if you're in the New York area, Luna exhibit. It's just beautiful. It's just beautiful. And the whole history and everything behind it, but

Hess:

I've extended the the time that it's there. You said to

Delbert:

they have. And thing I read said it was until late February. And then another thing I read said until late March. So I just really recommend just going on to the sheds website and see how long it's there. I know they extended it because it was just so popular. We thought we were going to the very last day. There were so many people there just enjoying it. And there's a lot of performers that perform and then little kids are just getting up and dancing with the performers. It's very joyful. like I said, I highly recommend it. But just, the joy of planning that trip and something to look forward to, getting the details down, getting the, and then adapting and, moving and pivoting, to whatever was thrown at us. Those are life skills that I don't necessarily have. Normally, especially like planning and being disciplined.

Hess:

Tell us, tell the story, Delbert of of you cleaning out for your car, all the snow off your car with your dollar.

Delbert:

I had left my good broom at one of my listings and I always buy like a couple dollar tree brooms in case I need to take them and sweep off a listing their porch, if I lose it or something gross happens to it it won't bother me, but I accidentally left my good broom at a listing. And so all I had. When I got home from New York was my Dollar Tree broom and I had to, was like, I don't even know, like 10 inches of snow with a hard candy shell. It was like an M& M, like a big frozen M& M, the hard candy shell of, And so I, that poor broom, I had a whack, no ice scraper could have done this. So I

Hess:

Now,

Delbert:

had a whack and crack the ice with the broom handle and then, brush it away with the little, the broom end. And Oh gosh, ice, one dollar tree broom, zero. It didn't, it got my car off. It took me about an hour. But

Hess:

how many pieces was the broom in afterwards?

Delbert:

three pieces. My dog, my daughter got there and I was standing in the driveway hole in the broom and three pieces and she, but I don't like to be stuck, I want to be able to go out and I'm a, I'm an extrovert and I, and they were so sweet. They came over and helped me dig out of the driveway. We're laughing about my, we got to laugh about my broom together and then they left me a bunch of rock salt. So I was able to spread it. But that's the extent of my planning. An emergency, I like to plan for fun things.

Hess:

It's okay to be prepared. It's okay to have your broom and hopefully you have your good

Delbert:

yeah. And a couple Novena candles in case the lights go out,

Hess:

enough toilet paper.

Delbert:

toilet paper, coffee, and vodka. and then, these people that go to the grocery and buy all the milk and all the bread, I'm like, what, I really just want like a good pizza or pot of chili. I don't understand all that. But. Maybe they've got a lot of kids, I don't know, but there's never bread or milk when it snows out.

Hess:

Maybe they're making ice cream with it. Delbert.

Delbert:

Maybe they're making milk sandwiches with it, Hess. they're making French toast or something, I don't know.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can take snow and put some milk in it, make some ice cream or something like that.

Delbert:

Yeah, you're right.

Hess:

But yeah, Cathy went to the grocery store yesterday. And she said it was pretty bare. It's like we're, it's we're going to be in for a month or something when people like when when COVID hit and there wasn't any toilet paper anywhere.

Delbert:

no. Me, I'm like, I got toilet paper, I'm golden, baby.

Hess:

So listeners, Delbert inspired me cause she took her darling. To New York and planted a seed. You planted a good seed for your darling inspiration. And let me go back to darling sitting in the Chelsea hotel with their sketch pad and drawing, that's a manifestation right there,

Delbert:

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Hess:

what they see. Yeah.

Delbert:

Oh, so inspired and sketched so many of the things that we saw.

Hess:

And tell me more about darling inspiring people that were around darling. They worth, they're worth.

Delbert:

One of the things that I said at the Chelsea hotel, because we did, we went to this real, my friend helped us get into this famous restaurant in Greenwich Village the first night called Minetta Tavern. And really people were just so attracted to my darling. It was just, we struck up conversations with people. The hotel staff was just, so in love, 1 of the things I said was all of these experiences that you're having, it's because you're letting your light shine and you people are becoming attracted to you and so don't ever lose that. It's easy to lose when you gone through middle school and you're in throes of high school and you. Feel a little beat up but remember spark and that light that you have and let that shine, let this whole trip just be an example to you of what you're capable of and all the power in your manifestation, and when we got home from the airport, because we got stuck there. An extra day. And again, my friend Adrian was just lifting me up and telling me all these things I could do. Go to Soho, go see the shops. Here's where you can stop to go to the bathroom, all these things. So we felt confident, we had a plan and had a backup plan. We landed and Oh, we were so tired. Didn't get home till 10 o'clock at night and I was getting ready to fall asleep that night in my bed, home from New York. daughter texts me and says, You changed their life.

Hess:

Wow.

Delbert:

What

Hess:

Wow.

Delbert:

way to fall asleep. It doesn't have to be as big as that, it doesn't have to be that big. That was a splurge for us for Sweet 16, but anything you can do to encourage and inspire people around you, especially your family

Hess:

The pictures that you had of your darling, the authenticity that I saw in the, in those pictures of this visual with their hat with what they were wearing and so on. It's just like people like this. I can imagine that I saw a photo, but I can feel, I could feel the energy. Like you're talking about people could feel of this authenticity. And what you were telling darling, let me see if I got you Delbert, but I really want to mirror this cause this is huge is you notice that people love coming up and talking to darling and interacting and they were attracted to that energy that darling was giving off. And you pointed that out and you said, don't ever shut it off. Don't ever let it go down. Even though you might be going through hard times and peer pressures in high school or whatever might happen. You have this light and other people can feel it. Don't ever stop radiating that light. Did I get you?

Delbert:

got me, you got me

Hess:

Amazing. Amazing.

Delbert:

and don't ever stop manifesting your dreams. Your dreams.

Hess:

I learned pretty early on. Be careful who you share your dream with because that first person you tell it to, they might knock it off. When I when dad was looking at my resume and sounded, he said, it sounds like you're just a free spirit. Cause I had riding across the country on a bicycle on there. Cause I wanted to tell people I was a hard worker or diligent or I had stentima, dad says, you sound like you're a free spirit. What are you going to do? And I said I think Lexington needs a fruit market. My dad said look into it.

Delbert:

Yes,

Hess:

That first message I got from a dream, was something to say, look into it.

Delbert:

exactly.

Hess:

Open it up.

Delbert:

who you share it with somebody like Jess Bollinger or, but also, to manifest it really. I feel like that's something that is internal that you radiate out.

Hess:

Yeah. So I'm around this group of friends that we have from high school, you all. And Delbert is known for joy. Delbert wears pink. Delbert. Delbert. Wears clothes off some vintage racks, and colorful things and that's what I'm getting from our group from some of these high school people that I've been around is. That around you a lot. They say something like that. You're just joy. You're like sunny side up. You're bounce back and they feel that. They feel that energy from you.

Delbert:

Aw, that's nice.

Hess:

Don't you? What have they said about you?

Delbert:

Oh, I don't know.

Hess:

I've heard it.

Delbert:

I don't know. The piece that I wrote when we were on our retreat was that I was a big pink swirl. Part of every sunrise and sunset. That, I do try to be part of that. I'm like, oh, I didn't see the sunrise today. Or, oh, I didn't see the sunset. I try to be part of that because it's a happening. It's a happening. It's part of the universe. I really try hard to be a joyful part of the universe. I guess is my be my mission statement of my life

Hess:

Gotcha. Watch him.

Delbert:

from my mission statement of work. But you. That's so sweet. And, in our group, you're the trusted person. You're the sage person. We look to you to lead our retreats because, knowledge, what you do is so powerful. I was talking to Terry about our trip that we're going to take again with our Barkley village, our retreat group. And, she's we'll just ask Hess about that. She'll, we'll just ask Hess. And that goes along with who the owl, we used to call you Hess the owl.

Hess:

I got glasses finally when I was in sixth grade. My dad thought that my sister and I could see like eagles because he could. I thought he always, I thought he was able to do magic because we'd be driving down I 64 and my dad would know what the sign said way up ahead. And I thought that it was just like magic. And but actually he could see, and we couldn't got our eyes examined. I'm in the sixth grade. My sister's probably in the eighth grade. She's two years ahead of me in school. She we both needed glasses

Delbert:

Oh, that is hilarious.

Hess:

and mine, and I chose these little round ones, like Harry Potter, and people started calling me Hess owl, who, cause it made me look like an owl.

Delbert:

Yeah. Hestia. Love it. Love it.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah, I guess this is one reason podsters why these conversations on Sunday mornings always lift me up because Delbert and I are talking about our week or things we're looking forward to. And even if it's been something hard, there's this opportunity with you, Delbert, where I can flip it and see the sunny side up of it, and move forward a little easier.

Delbert:

Yeah. And Hess always makes me, helps me make sense of things.

Hess:

Right.

Delbert:

You're a great listener. Great listener.

Hess:

So find free things, find the sparkle right now as I'm looking out and the sun's coming up, I'm seeing I'm seeing the crystal and the trees they still have ice on them and the crystals in the snow is shining and illuminating and sparkling. That's just beautiful. It's just beautiful. I'm really an advocate of. Putting something out there in the future to look forward to today. Some of the girls from the barn and I are going to go watch the lady cats play basketball. They play a memorial, so I'm looking forward to that and seeing these kids again back from Christmas break to go back to college. So I always have, and like we told you, we've got this we're going to do another retreat in June in Bethany beach. Is that where we're headed?

Delbert:

We're headed to Bethany beach in Delaware.

Hess:

And we have that out there. It's like throwing the anchor out to, to have something to look forward to.

Delbert:

Exactly. Friends. We hope you all walk with the planners and the dreamers and the doers and the

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah.

Delbert:

in joy, plan for joy.

Hess:

Plan for joy. Plan for joy. There's always something to be joyful about. And I gotta say this about that. This is what this podcast is. Let me tell you this about that. When I studied Brene Brown and read Brene Brown People that are suffering don't want you to do comparative suffering. It doesn't help them at all. And when we got on the conversation, I said, Oh, Delbert, these fires in Los Angeles, it's just so heavy. It's so crazy. And just with the wind, am I going to lose my house? People are posting lists to make sure, to double check. Do you have your social security number? Do you have you taken photos of everything in your house, wherever it is? Do you have do you have all the things that your pets need or your kids need? And so that's the first thing like out of my mouth. And then I said Brene Brown talks about don't do comparative suffering. Why should I enjoy these crystals in the snow? Why should I enjoy these crystals in the trees right now? When so many people are going through these fires in Los Angeles. If I don't enjoy, if I don't see and see the beauty and what's around me right now, it doesn't help anybody in Los Angeles for me not to experience it and be with it. So comparative joy, comparative suffering, it does no good. It doesn't do any good. So be able to feel and actually get the joy that's around you. And then you can do some things that might help other people that, that need it. As we've talked before about the food banks and those kinds of things that you can actually do for kids or some, something that's important to you. There is something you can still do but if you fill your cup up with the joyful things, then it can bubble over the top and then you can have more to give.

Delbert:

Exactly. It's like putting your oxygen mask on first an airplane you can donate a large or small amount to the Red Cross always when there's a, they're going to be there. They're going to be doing a good job.

Hess:

Right.

Delbert:

heard Jamie Lee Curtis talking about she still works with the Red Cross. So they're there. If you want to send love that way,

Hess:

Yeah. Okay, y'all. Peace and love. Please subscribe. If this helped you to join our conversation today, send it to a friend that might need it. Enjoy our Carla Gover song. She wrote the music for the preface and the ending of our podcast. It's beautiful. I love to listen to it. We love you.

Delbert:

coming out, right?

Hess:

She's working on her album. Yeah. So look up Carla with a C Carla Gover, G O V E R. And she might you might, if you could donate some money and help her make this album if you'd like.

Delbert:

But it'll definitely bring you joy.

Hess:

Yes. Yes. So peace and love. Delbert. We'll talk soon. I love you. Have a great week.

Delbert:

Love you too.

Hess:

Enjoy the sparkles.

Delbert:

Yes. All the sparkles in the snow. Peace and love listeners. And I hope that your week is joyful.

Hess:

Amen.