Let Me Tell You This About That

Joy Is In Many Parts of How You Live

• Jessica Bollinger

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In this heartfelt episode, hosts Delbert and Hess chat from their cozy spots at home and dive into a series of inspiring topics just in time for Super Bowl Sunday. The conversation begins with a beautiful poem by Jane Gumpel, which sets the tone for discussions on finding joy even in challenging times. They explore the acronym SPIRE, which stands for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relationship, and Emotional well-being, They share personal anecdotes and insights on how each element contributes to overall happiness. They dive into  research work by Dr. Ellen Langley on your mindset.  With thoughtful dialogue on gratitude, positive thinking, and the power of the human mind, this episode is a warm invitation for listeners to reflect on their own paths to joy and contentment. Delbert and Hess also pay tribute to Black History Month with a powerful quote from Harriet Tubman, reminding us all of the strength within to reach for the stars and change the world.

Jose is getting his chemo--Help my friend José wipe out the Stage 4 cancer in his body!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==





Delbert:

Hey, everybody, it's me, Delbert live from the green couch looking out my window this Sunday morning. It's Super Bowl Sunday. It's a little dreary here, but it's going to be a great day

Hess (2):

I'm Hess. I'm joining you all from my white chair by the bedroom window peace and love. We're glad to be here. To our podcast, let me tell you this about that,

Delbert:

you have a really beautiful reading to do to open the podcast today.

Hess (2):

This poem that I'm going to read to you is written by a friend, Jane Gumpel. She lives up in New York and sent this out The reason that I want to read this to you is Delbert and I've been talking about, a few weeks ago with the snow on the ground, being able to see the sparkles, being able to see what's beautiful. Being able to see colors and notice colors and it can take you to joy and move you to beautiful things around you. Right, Delbert?

Delbert:

And watch every sunrise and every sunset when you can just really appreciate all the beauty that's around you. it does spark joy. And I think it gives you energy too.

Hess (2):

Jane sent this poem out and it's about finding joy. It is titled Joy as an Act of Defiance. In a world torn at the seams, where voices clash like thunder. And hearts hardened under banners of fear, greed, and division. Joy becomes a quiet revolution. It's not naive. This joy blooms in the cracks of broken systems and fractured trust. It knows the weight of the world, feels the sharp edges of cruelty, still It rises. Joy is the hand extended across the widening divide, the eyes that meet, seeing not enemy, another soul searching for the same fragile light. In the midst of shouting matches and walls built higher, we choose to gather, not to erase the pain, but to hold it together. To weave a new fabric from threads of compassion, community where isolation once ruled. We stand in the rubble, not to mourn what's lost, to build what can be a conscious community. Where each heartbeat echoes the next. no voice is drowned by the noise of fear. We are not separate. The same sky stretches above us. The same earth cradles our feet. Your breath feeds the air I breathe. And my hope stirs the embers in you. Joy is not a retreat. It's a resistance. A fire lit in the cold. A song sung through the static. A garden planted in the barren soil. In this torn world, to find joy, to share it, to create it, to declare are still here, we are still connected, and love is louder than the hate. Jane Gumpel.

Delbert:

is beautiful. I was reading it along with you because you sent it to me on Friday wow, those are such powerful and good words. Oh my goodness. Love it.

Hess (2):

Yeah.

Delbert:

Yes.

Hess (2):

And Delbert, I want to add this also something that I've been paying attention to reading about is about the acronym, the ways happiness isn't I get this or if I get that

Delbert:

That's what started our conversation about this. Earlier in the week.

Hess (2):

Happiness really is multifaceted. And a lot of different things

Delbert:

It's not a car, right? Or

Hess (2):

not a new car. That's good. And anyway, the acronym is Spire. and just got to tell you all podsters today, like Delbert said, it's a gloomy day. And we have people, I have some people around me going through some tough stuff. So I had to lean back on this acronym and it's Spire, S P I R E. The first letter S is your spiritual self and how is your spiritual life? When we're in touch of feeling at oneness to the world, the universe, our spiritual self is our own belief and connection to the world around us, to our lives, to our being in the world. You could be agnostic or an atheist and have a spiritual practice of curiosity and wonder. that spiritual part of us contributes to happiness. The P in SPIRE is our physical body. How well do you nurture, care for, and protect your physical body? When our physical body feels good, we have no uncomfortable pain aches. do you put in your physical body to give it sustenance and appropriate energy and the I Spire that contributes to our intellect, excuse me, that it contributes to our happiness is intellect. Are we curious for knowledge? Are you a lifelong learner? a critical thinker to learn truths? Are you stimulated by new information and discovery? And so that intellect contributes to your happiness. R of Spire is relationships. Do you put good energy into relationship with the people around you? Are you kind? Do you collaborate and work together with others? Do you learn from others and also pass on what you learn? take the time for friendships and relationships? Do you nurture and protect those relationships? Do you see the other for who they are and appreciate the differences? All of those things contribute to your happiness. The E of Spire is emotions. Emotions are the language of our body. you listen and pay attention to your emotion and how you feel? you able to allow and sit with the emotion? Can you learn from what you feel and take appropriate action and not just react? So SPIRE, physical, intellect, relationships, emotion, all contribute, a part of our happiness. No matter what might be going on. So what do you have to say about that? Delbert?

Delbert:

I love it. It's wonderful. It's so true. I was listening to the podcast sent me about, how Your mindset can control your physical health and longevity. Podcast Huckerman lab with Dr. Helen Langer. She was so interesting her studies about the human mind and what makes us feel like we're healthy, we're well, that our life is good is so much just what we program ourselves, what we put in is what we perceive it to be. I think you can almost will yourself in some instances to be happy, to be healthy, to be well.

Hess (2):

That's those five inches between our ears. Make you a really good golfer or you're going to flub your next shot.

Delbert:

She talked a lot about work life balance and perception. people say to me all the time, Oh, I'm sorry you have to work at the lake or I'm sorry you're, returning a call at the beach And I'm like, no, I flip it. I'm like, Hey. I love my job and I get to work at the beach. I can still take care of people and answer their calls and emails and texts when I'm at the lake, I'm at the beach, when I take my grandkids to the pool. And I decided a long time ago when my grandkids were born that I was not going to miss time with them because of work, that I was going to make it all one big, beautiful ball. Of interaction and let it flow. and that made me happy to think that I could do that. And so I did it. I made it a reality and our brains are so powerful. We can do so many things if we just open our minds and believe it.

Hess (2):

So this person that was speaking to Huberman on his podcast, it's Dr. Ellen Langer. she's a researcher and a professor at Harvard University. she's been doing different research projects what Delbert's talking about is the way people think. One of her original of her first studies she calls it with chambermaids. That's somebody who works at a hotel and takes care of cleaning up after guests before the next guests check in. she told half of these chambermaids that their job was exercise. She demonstrated, when you're doing this and you're changing the bed, you are exercising. So at work, you are exercising and she followed these chambermaids over a period of time, the chambermaids all lost weight and they had better pulses. They had less. Their blood pressure was low, and so forth, they had improved physically just with the thought that while they work, they're exercising. The other half she didn't tell them anything like that. And she also inquired and also, are you eating any more, are you eating any less and stuff like that. And nothing changed around them, just they had the thought that while they were at work, they were exercising.

Delbert:

Your mindset, how powerful our minds are.

Hess (2):

I shared that with Cathy, my wife, her job is very physical. She teaches and trains horses, so she's riding or teaching standing out in the cold or heat moving jumps around and she also designs cross country courses and she's driving tractors and propping up jumps and jacking up things anyway. I said, Cathy, this is what I just heard from Dr. Ellen Langer. if you ever like this morning, she had gotten back late the night before so you didn't go to burn bootcamp your mind might say I didn't exercise today because I missed my burn bootcamp. 5 a. m. session, but you could say instead is I didn't go to burn boot camp, but I exercised throughout the day at my job I'm going to be Dr. Ellen Langley and do a long term study with Cathy changing that mindset

Delbert:

There you go. I love it.

Hess (2):

I'll weigh her in four months and take her blood pressure and see what's happened.

Delbert:

I'm going to tell myself that I'm on Ozempic.

Hess (2):

Pretend you give yourself a shot.

Delbert:

I always tell myself I made a kale and berry smoothie and I'm like, oh, man, I'm going to be so healthy today. I just drank that. But I say that to myself when I have a screwdriver too. The power of positive thinking. So important to keep ourselves lifted up, and moving in the right direction I always tell Hess in the morning I start out praying and that's my spiritual self that I'm taking care of I surround my children and grandchildren with this gold light of protection My daughter that doesn't live in town with me lives in Tennessee. I always text her in the morning and say your force fields up, go out, then I stretch it out and pray for everybody. I stretch it up to Lexington to you and your family. And all the way to South Carolina where my brother is. then I stretch it out to the whole wide world and it just becomes this big ball of light.

Hess (2):

And this force field of light. what are your thoughts as you stretch this out? what are you calling for them?

Delbert:

to protect everybody mentally, physically, and spiritually, everybody well, mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy. That's part of Spire, right? And I just send it out to the whole world. the more you spread it, and share it, the bigger the light gets, and the more energy you get. I call my force field a lot of things. If I get to pray and meditate in the morning, if I wear one of my favorite pink dresses and pink lipstick, that's part of my force field because it makes me feel happy. My youngest daughter told me that I dopamine dress. It means I dress just to make myself happy. I have to look professional, but I also do it in a way I buy dresses that have patterns and bright colors and things that make me happy. And that's how I start my day. And I just always feel like. I'm putting good energy out into the universe because I started with myself.

Hess (2):

Sometimes before I pick a bandana color out, because I wear these stretchy bandanas around my neck, or with plain shirts I think, I'm going to pick a color. that's going to give me success today. Success with my clients success in that I attract, good things to happen today. I do that every day when I put a bandana on,

Delbert:

There you go. your power color is red.

Hess (2):

No certain color, it's just a combination of colors bright, right? Yeah, and I used to, I'd heard in the past like wear yellow for an interview if you want the job. Yellow is a color of success.

Delbert:

Yeah, that's what I think. I think everybody's got a certain color that they feel particularly powerful in. and we all know that pink is mine. But color and colorful things. I bought some West 6 IPA and a Red Baron pizza for the Super Bowl.

Hess (2):

Okay.

Delbert:

gonna work and then I'm gonna come home and watch the Super Bowl and the halftime show. Are you guys gonna watch it?

Hess (2):

I go to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Lexington. we have this program called dinners for six that some people sign up for

Delbert:

Oh, nice.

Hess (2):

we're going to friend's house tonight for dinners for six. The host. For the dinner we'll do the main entree and then we're bringing a salad. Somebody's bringing bread. Somebody's bringing dessert. Somebody's bringing a vegetable. So we're going to their house at six and have some good food and conversation. And then when we come home, we'll finish watching. And I'll probably record it. So I can look at highlights of it.

Delbert:

Are you who are you rooting for?

Hess (2):

I think I'm going to wear green

Delbert:

Okay.

Hess (2):

Yeah. Brotherly love. I like that a city is called the city of brotherly

Delbert:

That is cool.

Hess (2):

I hope it's a good game and no one gets hurt.

Delbert:

Yeah, it's always fun when it's a really good game. Sometimes if it's really good, I have to finish watching the highlights because it gets my heart beat too fast to be able to go to bed. That's the only thing bad about it.

Hess (2):

Galbert, you talked on this acronym SPIRE. You talked about your spiritual practice of SPIRE, the S. And how it sets the tone for your day and feels good. And then you text your daughter, the youngest that doesn't live in Louisville. She lives in Tennessee. You text her and you tell her after you're finished force fields up.

Delbert:

And it makes her smile. And my son in law, I'm always telling him, I pray that circle of force field around you. Don't be afraid of anything. He thinks that's funny. But It makes me feel good to do that. it makes me feel hopeful. And it makes me feel like I've done everything that I can. to take care of them, especially spiritually for the day

Hess (2):

I wrote down on Spire. what I do for each of those. for my spiritual self. That contributes to my happiness I know there is good. There is life. There is a presence of good all around me. There's the helpers. Look for the helpers. Those people that came before me, those that I've known, both human and animal, I still feel in touch with. I have spirit cheerleaders that say, good job, keep it up, or encourage me to do something. When I am totally in touch with the spirituality of life, things seem to be at one, to stand still. So just now writing about this, I feel a sense of peace, of wholeness. serendipity plays and dances all around me, telling me that we are all one, that there's synchronicity in life.

Delbert:

Hess is such a good writer. She's writing a memoir.

Hess (2):

Yeah.

Delbert:

So good. I love that.

Hess (2):

So y'all think about that. What's your spar?

Delbert:

Exercise.

Hess (2):

How do you take care of your physical self, I, intellect, your intellectual self. R relationship and E your emotions.

Delbert:

Yeah.

Hess (2):

that's like circling back to me a lot this week is we got to be able to feel things.

Delbert:

Right?

Hess (2):

We don't want to numb. We don't we don't want to numb. We got to feel it. And then that'll give us information how to move forward. Don't be afraid to feel something. that can give you information emotions that your emotion is the language of your body. That's been showing up for me.

Delbert:

That's so true. And there's no shame feeling grief or feeling down. It's good to feel that so that you can get your bounce back, right? You can't automatically get the bounce back rising up from the ashes. Like our song says, it takes time. It takes time to rise for that smoke to settle and for everything to rise up. So yeah, sit with that emotion, let it soak in, feel all the feelings and then get your bounce back.

Hess (2):

Right.

Delbert:

there's no shame in feeling down when something bad happens. Don't sit in it too long and you'll know and the intellect I just shared with Hess earlier when we were talking before the podcast, I have this wonderful client that I've worked with and he told me that his grandmother said, all your brain knows is to learn always need to be feeding your brain with knowledge your whole life. that really stuck with me. He said that to me yesterday and I said, what a beautiful thing to say to a young child.

Hess (2):

Yes.

Delbert:

that's all your brain knows is to learn. And so you gotta be good to your brain. You gotta keep feeding it. This knowledge got to keep learning. What a beautiful thing.

Hess (2):

keep staying curious.

Delbert:

Never stop learning. these clients are in their seventies and have not retired because they keep learning more about this business that they're in. They keep evolving, keep changing, and they're training these new people. And they're just incredible. they're my clients, but they're also wonderful role models for me. look for the helpers, look for the role models, look for people who really. live that life of spire, right? They're integrating, they're letting it flow.

Hess (2):

You have this relationship with this client, known them for so long, you've handled five different properties of theirs, and you have this relationship Love it. everybody find the sunshine today. It's there. Remember the clouds are just a layer. Notice that layer and push through.

Delbert:

notice that layer and push through it. Absolutely. Have a good time today. Find the joy. We love you all so much. Peace and love.

Hess (2):

You have a saying you want to read for today to close out Delbert.

Delbert:

Okay.

Hess (2):

give that

Delbert:

Harriet Tubman. I love her and it is Black History Month. So I posted this on my Insta this week because I love quotes every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars. To change the world

Hess (2):

Harriet Tubman. She was a helper, help people.

Delbert:

I love that picture of her reaching out,

Hess (2):

The Underground Railroad.

Delbert:

Beautiful. She never gave up. And I bet she had a big spark of joy inside of her.

Hess (2):

peace and love. We love you and we will see you all next week. Be sure to like, subscribe and share this with friends. Thanks for joining us for our chat and this cup of inspiration, hopefully.