Let Me Tell You This About That

Winter-Looking for the Hint of Green

• Hess and Delbert • Season 1 • Episode 18

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In this heartwarming and reflective episode of "Let Me Tell You This About That," hosts Hess and Delbert share their experiences of navigating the challenges of winter. Hess broadcasts from her iconic white chair at the farm in Lexington, while Delbert speaks from her green couch in Louisville, Kentucky. Together, they discuss the unpredictable weather, the struggles of ensuring children receive meals during school closures, and the importance of finding joy in the simple things. Delbert reminisces about his industrious grandmother, Mamaw Dorothy, and her magic of creating beauty from scraps, while Hess and Delbert share tips on rescuing and reviving flowers to brighten up the dreariest of days. The conversation weaves through anecdotes of community support, the joy of small traditions, and the importance of remaining hopeful and creative during tough times. The episode concludes with a poignant quote about happiness, highlighting the significant impact of spreading joy. Join Hess and Delbert as they remind listeners to notice the green grass amid the mud and embrace the wonders of winter with peace and love.

Jose is getting his chemo--Help my friend José wipe out the Stage 4 cancer in his body!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==





Hess:

Hey, welcome y'all back to let me tell you this about that. I'm Hess.

Delbert:

Are you live from the white chair, Hess?

Hess:

I am totally 100 percent live from the white chair, looking out my window. It's a gray kind of rainy day. And here I am. Where are you Delbert?

Delbert:

As always, Hess, I am on the green couch looking out my window. It is a dreary day and it's been a little dreary here in Louisville, Kentucky this week. One of the things we wanted to talk about with you all today is getting through the winter, right? We're in the homestretch and we've had some crazy weather in Louisville that's just turned us on our heads. It was beautiful on Monday, nice enough to walk outside without your coat on. I took a walk without my coat Monday. And then Tuesday, it snowed. my world's been a little upside down. In addition to the weather, we've got so many flus and viruses on that the kids didn't have school on Monday just because there were so many people sick. And then they didn't have school on Tuesday. I was telling Hess that, because of what my family's charity does dealing with childhood hunger, I really worry when kids don't go to school because a lot of the food that we count on at the school in our pantries. blessings in a backpack serves their food at school as well as dare to care programs. And the children who received those services also rely on those free breakfast and lunch programs. And so I just felt really worried. I was telling Hess, I just felt really worried and scattered on Monday and Tuesday. I

Hess:

Yeah. So the lowdown is Monday night. They were expecting all this snow and bad weather on Tuesday and was just going to really pile up. So here in Lexington, On Monday night, they had canceled classes at the University of Kentucky, and they had canceled public school classes. And when did when was the cancellations for the Louisville, for Jefferson County Public Schools? When did they announce those for Tuesday?

Delbert:

oh, they did it on Monday as well. Monday evening.

Hess:

They did it on Monday.

Delbert:

Yeah. And I think probably too, just because they had so many people out sick, they were thinking that extra day would help,

Hess:

Oh, yeah,

Delbert:

monday and then they did no Tuesday. And then thankfully everybody was back on Wednesday. How about you all? I asked, were you all back?

Hess:

Yes, for sure. We were back on Wednesday. So Delbert, it makes all kinds of sense that you worry that the kids don't get food. They rely on getting that free breakfast and lunch. And if there's no school, they don't get that day. And when they don't have school for Tuesday and how long that's going to last, you're worried about those kids.

Delbert:

Exactly. And that can along with the weather and just the winter being dark, I think a lot

Hess:

Yeah, because back in January, when school was about to start after Christmas break. The kids were off all week because of a big snow and wow Delbert there's more days that you're worried that those kids aren't getting breakfast and lunch at least

Delbert:

know. So I had just gotten through that and everybody was doing good and I got my sweet cards from my kids at Lane elementary and everything seemed right. And then when you think you've got everything figured out and then life throws you a curve ball, You really have to try to keep your balance in life so that you don't tip over. I was really struggling. This past week and I started thinking about how my grandmother, who was just always so calm, she was our calm. She, I say, she was the moon. Balanced everything out shining brightly in the darkness, and she and my grandfather, they struggled a lot, money wise. She could put a meal together. made all of our. clothing, like our First Communion dresses, and she could make a suit for a boy's First Communion, those blue suits they used to wear. A baptismal gown. of course, every time Christmas was over, she'd start again making Christmas presents handmade for all of her 29 grandkids. she just would restart this whole creative process, right? when I was struggling, I started thinking about her and then I grabbed this book off the shelf Simple Abundance. It's a day book of comfort and joy. My friend Shannon and I, our moms died really close together and she's best friend at work. And our boss's wife. gave us both this book and we started reading it together in 2017. And then in 2018 we reread it together. So I'm like, I need to grab that because need to keep reminding ourselves even when there's big things going on, we've got to find these simple joys. We've got to find this. This happiness and this peace in our life and make something of nothing. We live in a state of abundance, regardless, especially for, real estate agents. That's a important lesson because, we are like a high wire act, right? We live on commission. So you've got to live in that abundant state of mind. You can't live in scarcity. I would say my grandmother, she would find a little scrap of material, and she had this cute little country accent, she'd say. I bought that for a quarter. Yeah, I bought it for a quarter, and I'm gonna make a dress for the baby. So whoever Scrap of material she found at the store would fit, she'd make them something special out of it.

Hess:

So y'all, this is mama Dorothy, that

Delbert:

Mamaw Dorothy, yeah.

Hess:

Dorothy. I bought that for a quarter. I'm going to make a, I'm going to make a dress. I'm going to make that baby a dress. So she was creating and she would, after Christmas, she would begin making everything again.

Delbert:

And crocheting. And could make her own patterns. I think I've talked about that before. So she was a, an engineer, she could make a pattern out of a paper bag. Her own patterns, made all of our important, clothing. And so I'm like, that was her meditation and she was so fortunate in that, but I really need, cause I'm not creative, I'm not crafty. And so I would find little things in this simple abundance book, I'll put. A bouquet of flowers out or hand make little valentines or, just give myself something hopeful and pretty to look at. To get myself through. And I think it's important when I. When we're having a little second, when we're not feeling all that joy, and we're a little depressed, it's good to, to and think about all the things that make us happy. The simple things, doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be a big gesture.

Hess:

Yeah you you buy the flowers they're about to throw out at Kroger's and then you snip them and make them new and they last another week, right? Ha!

Delbert:

like, you're going to be okay, I'm going to take you home and fix you right up girls. My friend Stuart he owned a floral shop for a long time and he said, cut them diagonally underwater, give them a sip, as soon as they're, they take that breath,

Hess:

Whoa!

Delbert:

Yeah, let it be

Hess:

So you make that diagonal cut while the tap water's going. Let them take a drink.

Delbert:

Yeah. And they take a drink and then and then you strip all the leaves off because when the leaves get in the water, they rot and they cause the flower to rot early. I do that. And then the little packet in there, but you can also put like an aspirin in there or a little teeny dash of vodka, anything that'll keep the bacteria out of the water.

Hess:

Okay. Could be.

Delbert:

friends, rescue those Kroger flowers or any flower that's on sale. And. And just brighten up your house, brighten up your, put it on a desk, put it somewhere where you're going to see it all the time. Just remind you that winter's almost over. I don't know. Is anybody's favorite season winter? Not me. I can't wait to get to spring time. Oh my goodness.

Hess:

Yeah our cousin, my cousin Joey, he lives in Colorado Springs. He's going to take his vacation to the Bahamas in April because he says that's just an in between time there. And the snow's kind of melting and things are muddy. Then the weather's not that great there. And so that's he's gonna, it's gonna leave for two weeks during that time. So this is where we're so many days before spring. I think March 21st almost 1 month away is the 1st day of spring. The grass is starting to green up just a little bit, but the mud I'm, I'm looking at my window and I look through the backyard over into the tobacco barn field where the hay feeder is in the water. And it's always really muddy right there because the horses walk around a lot. So there's a little bit of green. So if Delbert, that's what I could do. I could pay more attention to the green versus the mud.

Delbert:

I think we do. Just make choices that honor, makes our heart What makes our heart sing, right? Just those good things and maybe you know I always do like a daily prayer and a daily meditation But need to make a post it note somewhere says, you know remember simple abundance remember to be joyful every day and When it's dreary out, it's are going on. It's hard sometimes. But I got my groove back. I got my bounce back on Wednesday.

Hess:

What helped you get your bounce back, Delbert?

Delbert:

the kids went back to school, so I think that was the biggest thing. And I got to order food for all the schools like I heard from everybody. All of my regular schools that I hear from heard from all of them and everybody got the food they needed and everybody or was doing really well. And, that just lifted me. And then I did a little spring cleaning and just shaken that winter dust off, just like shaking it up a little bit and clearing things out, clear your space, energies. Reside in clutter, right? So whether it's your house or in your mind, you've got to shake those lower energies out.

Hess:

So when you come in, and it's the end of the day, and you might even have a little bit more work to do when you get home, you'll put your stuff on the dining room table where you can see it, and things had started collecting there. So you filed, you, you cleared out, you, you cleared that space, and then that helped you feel lighter.

Delbert:

exactly. And then I put some flowers on the table instead of all those files and all that paperwork. And and that really set the tone for the rest of the week. And by Thursday felt so much lighter. And It was something simple. Like one of my friends texted me that we were going to go to dinner with our friends, Logan and Mark. And it was my friend Shannon. And she always arranges everything. She's I've got reservations, we're going to see the newlyweds. And, and I'm like, Oh, I'm so lucky. You know, I texted you and we talked about the podcast. I'm like, wow, I'm so lucky. I have such a wonderful life. Wonderful.

Hess:

So that, that's a good thing too, Delbert, is to have something to look forward to.

Delbert:

We've talked about that. Exactly. Exactly. Make sure. That you're reaching out to your friends and family that you're reaching out to your colleagues that keeps a little spark there that something to look for, even if you're just meeting somebody for coffee

Hess:

Yeah,

Delbert:

Also, I had so much fun celebrating my birthday. You know what I'm saying? Like I went to so many restaurants and had so much fun. Maybe I'm on a little bit of a slide here, but for sure the biggest thing was the kids I was worried about. So I'd come off a fun, fun week and then had a little bit of a bummer. So yeah with worrying about my Carol's kitchen schools and my blessings and backpack schools, but. What made you struggle this week, Hess what was your bump in the road?

Hess:

Yeah what was pretty cool is Monday night. We celebrated the birthdays at the barn once a month. We have games at the barn. If the weather is in the warmer months. And then the winter we go to jalapenos restaurant. That's our. Our my neighborhood cheers kind of place where everybody knows your name.

Delbert:

I love it. Love

Hess:

the very first restaurant when we brought Lucas back from Guatemala that we went in there and so they always say Dondé Lucas Como estå Lucas no even today 24 years later. Yeah, so we had that and I picked up Juve and Heidi, his daughter, Heidi, because Juve's birthday was in February and they went and Juve's sitting at the head of the table. Oh, and what is so beautiful, I want to tell the listeners this, because I learned this from somebody, you learn from others who have learned from others, that's what I know, is we do appreciations.

Delbert:

that's great.

Hess:

So at the birthday dinner that night, we had Ellie, her birthday is in February. She's a boarder at the farm, a young girl so a sophomore at UK and we had Juve. And so first we went around the table appreciating Juve and there's 10 people sitting around the table and they all say something they appreciate about him. Oh my gosh. Oh, it just makes your heart melt. And the big smile on Juve's face, they say, Oh, Juve, it's so fun to come to the barn and see your face. You're always laughing. You're just so sweet. The way you take care of our horses, the way you care so much and always rely on you when I have a problem, you help, all this stuff. And it got around and then, Oh, Heidi, so Heidi, it's your turn to appreciate your dad. Heidi says, I love the way that you always think about me

Delbert:

oh.

Hess:

and

Delbert:

Oh,

Hess:

Whoa. And I looked over to my right delbert at Ashley Hudson. She's sitting at the table. She's a therapist. And I look back at Heidi. I said, Heidi you've got two therapists here that are crying right now. I told

Delbert:

whoa. That moment.

Hess:

you the next day, I said, do you know how important that is? And

Delbert:

Yeah,

Hess:

Heidi appreciated you for, that is the most important thing in the world to be seen.

Delbert:

Wow.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. It was so beautiful. So that was all really cool. But around the table we're talking about, oh, yeah, we're supposed to get maybe seven, eight inches of snow. And y'all, we've gone through that in January. And these kids have missed school for a week. And Pete, you couldn't ride your horse. And anyway, we might just have just finished melting the snow in the parking lots from that. And we're going to. Supposed to get 7 to 8 more inches. And school was called off. University of Kentucky was called off. We knew all of that. So that when I woke up Tuesday morning, there was no snow on the ground. It wasn't as bad as they thought. The snow and freezing rain started about 7 a. m. We got two or three inches, but it just stuck around for Tuesday and everybody's back in school on Wednesday. But I was so happy to see when I woke up Tuesday morning that there wasn't any snow.

Delbert:

Yeah, we got a little bit, but the wind and the rain washed it all away. So it I was so glad that things got a little bit back to normal on Wednesday. And then you asked, you were telling me that you went to see The sun.

Hess:

Raisins in the sun. So that was a little joy, a joy card out there on the shelf that I was looking forward to. Cathy got tickets to Raisin in the Sun.

Delbert:

That's so cool.

Hess:

Also, I got to say that I really was glad that the city of brotherly love won the Super Bowl. So I was I was feeling good about that.

Delbert:

That

Hess:

And some people that we were at dinner with Sunday night, they had seen the Woodford theaters presentation the night before the raising in the sun. And Cathy got tickets for us after they were talking about it. And I had that to look forward to last night. And we took a horse friend to that and her sister, we were taking Heidi, but she had a birthday party to go to. So Gail brought her sister, Elaine.

Delbert:

What a great play.

Hess:

Yes.

Delbert:

So beautiful. And so then we started talking about that right before we started recording and Hess looked up the original Broadway, Sydney Poitier. Oh my

Hess:

Yeah, it's one of the, it was the very first all black production on Broadway, folks,

Delbert:

And so we were talking about when we were going to Mother of Good Council, a big movie that we watched in like sixth or seventh grade, was Lily's in the Field.

Hess:

with Sidney Poitier played the main character on Broadway. And then in the play came out in 59 on Broadway. And then a movie was made of it in 1960, Raisin in the Sun with Sidney Poitier playing the lead also. And so Sidney Poitier was again in this movie later on when we were in grade school. Yeah. But Delbert watch being at that play last night and it was

Delbert:

singing that song from the movie that he had taught the nuns. Remember? Amen. Sister Maria and Father Flynn let us sing that in church all the time. How lucky were we that we had such cool priests and nuns? And yeah, we're like, Hey, I, we just learned this song from this cool movie. And let's make it a church song. They're like, okay, whatever, so we just start singing it. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Hess:

an hour, first act, an hour, a second act, hour 15 or something. I was squirming all over my seat just because of the content about this struggling black family. Living in South, South side, Chicago down in a basement apartment and a two bedroom. And the mom and the 20 year old daughter sharing a room. And then there's a little family. A man the S the son and his wife were sharing a room and their son is sleeping on the couch and they're going to buy they have an insurance settlement from their dad. The mom is going to take her husband's insurance settlement money and put a down payment on a house in the neighborhood. And it's a white neighborhood. And the HOA director from that neighborhood comes to the house and says, Hey I'll give you some, we'll give you all some money. If you don't move in there.

Delbert:

Oh, wow.

Hess:

Yeah. All kinds of, all different messages and yeah, I was squirming because it's it was real, very good acting. It was, it supposed, it's one of the very best written plays and it's content will make you squirm. It's real and it's real life situation. So anyway, I was looking forward to that day. We went, we ate Mexican before we went, it was a great meal. And then I needed to see it because you all a good life doesn't mean that it's not going to be a hard life also. Okay. Yeah.

Delbert:

Find those little pieces of material and make something great out of them.

Hess:

Ooh, look how you circled back to your grandmother.

Delbert:

Mamaw Dorothy always comes up. My Aunt Lainey just gave me my mamaw's rosary. And that really meant a lot to me. Yeah.

Hess:

Dorothy's rosary. Do you remember seeing her praying on it?

Delbert:

yeah. She was very spiritual. Yeah. Going to church with her, just sitting next to her, that energy that I got off of her, it made me a very strong person. Very strong. And my grandkids say, what was all that gory artwork you were looking at, in the Catholic church. And I said, ah, I didn't even notice it. Maybe I'd, just grown up seeing it birth, Was, but I wasn't cold to it. Do you know what I mean? I wasn't, just, it just affected me really deeply, the faith that she had and that she gave to all of us.

Hess:

You could feel it permeating out from her.

Delbert:

I could feel that energy, that beautiful, bright, white light of energy. I could feel it sitting next to her. She was so deeply faithful and she fasted so hard during Lent that she was always sick on Easter. We talk about that a lot. My aunts and I

Hess:

what about that? Did the fasting cause her to be sick? Wow.

Delbert:

she was real small and thin and she would just pray so hard and fast so hard during Lent. She'd usually be so like run down that she'd catch something. In this, right before Easter.

Hess:

Didn't charge up. Wow. Pick up some old flowers at Kroger's and tell the girls you're gonna give them some new life.

Delbert:

all of my papaw's bounce back. It was pretty lucky to be around. like I, I soaked up all of the magic that they were off or close to it. I feel like I did really appreciate that. And it's been like a huge blessing in my life. They, I was the oldest grandchild and I was around them the most. And so I feel super fortunate about that, seeing how they were always so happy, always planning, always joyful, even though they really struggled financially a lot. And my grandfather struggled a lot with, PTSD World War II. Always making up stories, always making clothing and it's, yeah. So just remember to. Bring that into your life. Make a Valentine, make a you plant a little seedling. Come on with me, girls. We're going to have a great week. It's

Hess:

Delbert, what I gotta say, because I'm still, here's what I'm gonna say, is I'm still sitting here by this window, there's raindrops on the window, we're supposed to get five or six inches of rain today, but since I'm noted, since I noted that the grass is turning green, that's all I see when I look out there. I don't see the mud as much, I see the green grass. Be sure you notice. That beautiful little piece of cloth you can make something out of or that person that's emanating some good energy, or something colorful, or something that can bring you joy.

Delbert:

just any little thing and keep your chin up this week. Cause winter's almost over baby. I was listening to Nate Barghesi. He's such a funny comedian. And he would. was doing a joke on what we were talking about, how to train your brain, to think this is healthy or this is exercise. And he goes, if you can trick the dumb part of your brain, like, how dumb is that dumb side? Same head knows the conversation going on and it still gets tricked. How dumb is that? Yeah. So I thought that was really funny, but I got a quote has,

Hess:

Oh, we're going to end in a quote again?

Delbert:

If you want to, but

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

about being happy and I found it Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. She does a little writing for each day and a joyful of list of things for the each month, but each day has a little quote. And so this one says, there's no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy, we sow anonymous benefits upon the world. Robert Louis Stevenson. He's one of my favorites. We

Hess:

again. We sew what? We get back to, we get back to granny. And go ahead.

Delbert:

get back to that piece of material. So by being happy, we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.

Hess:

Love it. Yeah.

Delbert:

seeds,

Hess:

Eminate, emanate out. Love you podsters. Thanks for listening. Be sure to like, and subscribe. We hit a big Mark after our initial start last November of our pod, we hit a big Mark and we appreciate you so much for listening. Peace and love.

Delbert:

peace and love.