Just Be Yourself says Beazie!

Hess and Delbert are together in Bethany Beach Delaware.  They are there for a weeklong retreat with some high school friends.  Adventure, lots to do, the beach, good meals, and doing work with the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.  They share how the got there, getting up in the middle of the night for their 5:15 am flight.  Crossing the beautiful Chesapeake Bay and beautiful farmland, they land in the beach condo.  Beazie gives the tip for the next podcast about being who you are.  Checking in with how you feel, what is best for you, is so important.  If we are close to ourself, we have more presence to others.

Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript

Hess and Delbert: 2:09

Hey, welcome to, let me tell you this about that. I'm Hess. Hey, I'm Delbert and I'm not on the green couch. We are actually sitting in a beautiful bedroom on Bethany Beach in Delaware, right? So we are the beginning of our week long interaction with our crew here, our. Barkley Village. We did a retreat January of last year and this is a retreat we're gonna do here at Bethany Beach. One of, one of our friends had lives here now and we've rented a big condo where the nine of us can be and. Bert, how did we get here today? We got up really early, like really didn't sleep last night. Caught a five 15 flight from Louisville to Baltimore. So five 15 and I thought we needed to be at the airport by three 30. And so that meant I came up to Louisville and stayed with my brother Andy.'cause I live in Lexington, about an hour east of Louisville. I came up and stayed with my brother Andy, and set my alarm for set for 2:00 AM and then. I went to bed about seven 30 and I listened to a long kind of help you go to sleep meditation. Oh, good. And I think about eight o'clock, my wife Cathy called me and woke me up, but that was okay. I went back to sleep and I first woke up at 1230 and I think. I woke up at 1230 and I didn't go back to bed'cause I was afraid that I wouldn't wake back up again. So yeah, the hardest part of the journey was getting up in the middle of the night and everybody came to my house. We right, we took a lift and so on my way to Bert's house, I stopped and picked up Beth and she only lives six minutes away from Dalbert. And Dalbert you, which kinda scared me, is you were gonna call an Uber. And you said I can call a quick, you Uber, what's the difference between an Uber or a Lyft? Or a quick Lyft? You can schedule it out for 20 or 30 minutes, but they come really quickly. And so you can ask for the one that's the closest by you. Like they they light up on a little map. Yeah. And show you where they are. And so I picked a deluxe once,'cause there we had so much luggage that, and it, they said RETA is six minutes. So I picked it for seven minutes. I. And then, and Beth and I pull into Bert's driveway, and then the Uber pulled up behind us and we loaded all the luggage into the Uber. And you locked your doors off. We went off, we went and it was before the airport really opened up. So yeah, we could have worked a shift at the airport. We got there before the workers the TSA people. Yeah. So we could have, had a little time to maybe work like a half an hour shift at the airport. But we made our flight. We actually saw a beautiful sunrise through the plain window. Met this really cool guy named. Was his name Josh or Jason? Jason. Jason on the plane. He was so nice. He was going to Costa Rica to surf. So he had three surfboards with him, he said, and on the plane. And the lady at the lady at Southwest classified them as snowboards and he, and so they got the travel free. Snowboards travel for free. Just there's a tip for you. Yeah. But anyway, then we got a rental car and we had this beautiful drive up the Chesapeake Bay. So now we're here to just enjoy the beach and all the amenities at this really great place. We're staying at the sea colony and and also just, get back in touch with our Barkley Village, which. It's become a very important part of our lives now. Yeah. So has had her niece be. Stay with her for horse camp this week. Yeah. And Bezy said something so interesting and I'm like, let's talk about that on the podcast. Yeah. So my little 9-year-old niece has been coming to horse camp up at Care Station Farm for a few years now, and each year she wants to stay a little bit longer, so it's really wonderful. And of course each year she's a little bit older and can do more and she's just so amazing and just so beautiful. And we had so many good talks. I always fix her some Barnard waffles. I have, we have a waffle maker that makes a chicken, a cow, a barn and a pig. And I made two batches of waffles'cause she eats'em for breakfast and lunch and dinner sometimes. And anyway, I'm driving, be home and, her little brother Owen Bey came on Sunday and her little brother Owen came on Thursday and I'm driving them home Saturday back to Louisville and Bey says, Hey. Aunt Jesse, I've got an idea for your podcast. She's got the sweetest little quiet voice. I said, what is a beast? And she goes I think that maybe a good topic would be that you, you have to be who you are and not, and not go along. With the crowd. What do you think about that? And I go yeah, that that's really good bees. What, in your nine years what comes up for you about that? And Bey said at school all the kids had Crocs and I didn't have Crocs and I'd never wanted Crocs and all the kids had Crocs. And I. I got Crocs. She caved. Yeah. But sometimes when you cave, here's the good side of it. She decided she liked Crocs and they're comfortable, and now she's got a few pairs. So at the farm worked out okay. Yeah. At the farm, she had a pile of Crocs. She had three pairs of Crocs. She had a Crocs that had a little fur in it. She had Crocs that were more like handles. She had another pair. Yeah, so she, she brought that up that in, she experienced that. So that's a good point you just made. Delbert is sometimes people might be wearing something because it's comfortable and we could try it out and we might not just be, want wanting to wear it. We could still make the choice. She could have made the choice. If she didn't like'em, that she didn't wanna wear'em. Exactly. And no, I don't want another pair. But she's Hey, this is pretty good. So yeah. And sometimes we wear things for comfort. Sometimes we do things for comfort, and it's all really about just feeling yourself out. Feeling. How you feel in situations and with things and with people. And you were telling me about a book that you were reading really about. Making sure that you're staying true to yourself all the time, even when you're connecting with other people. On, let me tell you, let me on the podcast. Oh, we can do hard things. They were talking. Yeah, we were talking to, they were talking to Martha Beck and Martha Beck made the point that we always gotta, we always gotta put a percentage. Into ourself of staying in touch. What's our thermostat? What are we feeling inside? And if we're home alone, we can put a hundred percent into what do I feel like doing? What do I feel like what do I feel like doing right now? What do I feel like eating right now? What do I feel like, how do I feel right now? And she said, and made the point that. She had a friend that worked in a really busy hospital a hospital during COVID. Delbert. Yeah. And even in such a busy place, what helped her is she still stayed 75% in touch with her inside, and 25% on the outside. She was still able to do everything she needed. For her patients working her job in the hospital and it helped her stay. Stay well, stay balanced. Stay grounded. Yeah, stay grounded. I can see that because when you're being true to yourself, I think you make the best decisions. So she's probably making better decisions for her patients. Right? And yeah. And you never think about that because a lot of times when you're in the outside world and you're engaged with other people and you're taking care of other people, you're really thinking about them more and what they need. But God, that's just such an important point. I love that. Okay. Websters, we want you to remember that too. Delbert. Okay. What. Delbert, you're in real estate. If you stayed 75% in touch, what was going on inside of you and you have a busy day of showing houses to client, to a client, and then you have a busy day with some, with another client making offers or so on, or another client on that same day that, that wanted you to look at their house to do a listing, how would stay, how would it work for you? Staying in touch with yourself 75% of the time. You know what, when I get up in the morning, I, and I do my prayers and my meditation, I ask God in the universe to help me stay in the frame of mind, to do the very best for each person, for each customer, for their wellbeing and their personal wealth. So for me to stay true to myself. Every single situation is to really stay engaged and listen to what my clients want and listen to where they wanna go and give'em the best input and the best advice that for me and I just found out about this theory on the plane this morning, so I'm still cycling through. I might tell you all I could change that, but I do think that when you're being true to yourself. When you're taking care of other people, that you really have to be focused on what kind of job you wanna do for them, how you want them to feel and what the best outcome can be. That's staying in my core, in my center. Yeah. So what I heard you say is before you even start the day, you know what's on the agenda for the day. And you do a meditation and center yourself. And you tell yourself, you, the day you're gonna show up for your clients and it's all gonna work out and you're going to, you're gonna show up. The best part of you. So there you go. That then the best part of you shows up for them. Shows up for them. So it's just a win-win. And I might think about that some more, think a little more of this about that, but I think that's what it is as. The core of it is just really being mindful about who you are and the impression that you wanna make on the world every single day, every single minute, every single hour, and then living with that and doing your very best. And then you go home and you just have such a good feeling about it. It doesn't always go your way. You probably have that with your clients. It doesn't always go your way. With your clients, sometimes you might have a time where you have a little backslide or setback with them, but is that how you feel about it or what's your thoughts on it? Okay. You just flipped. You just did a flip turn and flipped it back to me. So as a licensed clinical social worker, when I'm sitting in front of my couple or sitting in front of my client. If I stay grounded and in tune with myself and as same with you, Delbert, I'm gonna show up and be able to give to my clients everything that I've learned, anything. And I really do have to stay attuned to myself, which Delbert to be able to tell my clients the most. And Delbert and because I've been doing that. I get this shiver down my arms. I get goosebumps whenever I know we're on the right track. Yes. Such a good feeling. We talked about the circle and being in the circle, and how with your clients, you probably see yourself come full circle with them. Yeah. And you see them become the best version of themselves. Yeah. That's a beautiful thing about life and about work, about friendships and family. It's also good, right? So I guess I am as, as Martha Beck said, really tuning into myself to be able to notice that I feel this. And then my body reacts. I get those goosebumps down my arm and it's I'll say, oh, that just gave me goosebumps look. And I raise my arm up and show my client. Exactly. Exactly. And what does that goosebumps go back to? What does it go back to? Oh, it's a scientific thing. She's thinking actually if we, okay, if we were a cat and our hair stood up on the back of our neck, that's goosebumps. For a cat, the hair on your necks. If we had more hair, we'd get more of a good standup on that. Okay. Okay. So goosebumps can be an indication of something that is exhilarating. Something that scares us or gives us the chills. And animals get'em too, but their fur just stands up. Yeah, I get'em when something like a big insight happens or something just thrills me. Yeah. Yeah. And that's primal. The goosebumps are a real thing. They're primal. I'm really glad at my point in life that I'm starting to be more attuned to my body and feel things like that. Is it has to feel right on our inside to feel good on our outside. Exactly. And really not the book that we're reading for this retreat, I told Hess it's The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown. And it's such a good book. I really wish I would've read it when I was in my thirties and forties when I was raising my kids and. And tried not to worry so much. I think you want so badly for your children to do well and to connect and to have friends and to do well and all the things they wanna, achieve. And so you're so caught up in that Sometimes you're just on a hamster wheel and I'm like, I really wish I would've relaxed more. I wish I would've not cared. I think a lot of it's just'cause you love your child so much, you just want them. To have friends and to, be well thought of. But at the end of the day, does it, it really doesn't matter as long as you're loving them and encourage them and. Everybody's doing their best. It really doesn't matter. I really had a good lesson once with my really good friend Lee Walton. Her son Ian, was one of Lucas's best jams, and they would just speak their own language almost. You know what? Love it. You know what? Guess what? Guess what? You know what, and they would just do this Limerick stuff in the backseat. It was so fun to listen to'em. And they just really loved each other and loved each other's company. And once, they did a whole lot of stuff together and Lucas and I were gonna go to the pool or something like that, and I called Lee and I said, Hey, Lucas and I are going to the pool. What's Ian doing? And, lee said something that stopped me in my track. She says I'll ask Ian if he wants to go. And what stopped me in the track is if Lee would've called me and said, Hey, we're going to the pool. Does Lucas wanna go? I would've said, yeah, he's not doing anything, and I wouldn't have asked Lucas. That was a really point. Yeah. So she made a really good point to me. So I it, and it's not that we're trying to control him. No. It's that we want him so badly to have such a good time that we just go ahead and accept with and Wow. How wise was Lee for thinking of that? For sure. For sure. Yeah. And so I started, I took that on Yeah. And said, yeah we're always learning. This is going on. Just checking to see if you'd wanna go do that. We're always learning. Always learning. We're just human. You're just humans. I'm 67 and learning. Still learning. Yeah. Still learning. Yeah. We've got a lot figured out, but not all of it. So one of my feel goods this week talking about being 67 as my client asked she had a birthday coming up next week and or this week, and I I said, how old will you be? And she said. 36 and I go, okay. Half my age. And she goes, what? How old are you? And I go, I'm 67. And she goes no, you're not 67. I go, how old do you think I am? And she said, I. Not a day over 51. And that makes you feel so good because you're so young at heart. Too young at heart. So see, that's what you're projecting. Yeah. Spirit Young. Spirit, young heart. You're projecting that. And I do go work out at Burn Bootcamp five days a week, and she does work out at Burn Bootcamp five days a week. People in Lexington keep'em strong, they build their jumps and work on their farm and they stay healthy and fit and strong. So we all got here, Delbert the three of us from here? Yeah. Beth, you and I came by plane Southwest. We went Southeast on Southwest. And we got here, our friend Terry lives here and our friends Mary and Karen drove by car left yesterday. And we have two sisters that are arriving tonight about seven o'clock I. And so the adventure begins. Yeah. But the adventure, I think the adventure began when I was born. It did. It did. It began when you were born and then it began this morning when we woke up at the, yeah, in the middle of the night. And we're gonna go. Tell you friends that we're gonna go enjoy our friends and we'll tell you more about our adventures next week. We, I'm sure we'll have so many things to tell you but I'll tell you, this is so funny. Hess says remember in grade school when they used to say, bus one, please line up, or car riders? So we were Airbus one. Yeah. And there's two groups of car riders, no walkers. Thank God. Yeah. No walkers. Walkers. Yeah. No walker. Nobody could walk it. But it's so beautiful here. There's farmland. There's a little bit of some areas that we said look like the low country. Then there's this beautiful beaches. It's just everything. And also it's the first state. Delaware was the first state. Yeah. Mary Carol. Read that on a bumper sticker. You're we're always learning. We don't know where we're learning it from, but yeah, she was a car rider. So she saw the bumper sticker. Yeah, she was a car rider. We were in the air. We didn't get to see anything, but saw a beautiful sunrise. And we're gonna work on making ourselves better and just you all we're in our room choices. I'm making the point. Get a feel. Yeah. See what it feels like in your body. Do you wanna, do you want the twin bedroom the twin bed bedroom? You know what? Do you want the loft? Do you want the extra bedroom where you know, what does it feel like? And then decide where do you feel comfortable? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Then we can still switch. I love it. Hey, what I did a quote for, I always do a quote for work with a pretty, and since it's pride month I did something with a beautiful, like rainbow background and I did the deda part of the deda. And it's a reminder that we're all children of the universe. So you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should. And then my other, and that's by Max Erman, but my other quote. That my office didn't want me to do was I like my bourbon strait and I love my friends and family just the way they are. That's great. So where were these quotes? Oh, they're on my social media. We make little postcards'cause I don't send people postcards that say, I sold this and I sold that, and blah, blah. Nobody cares about that. People want inspir that I think people want inspiration and beautiful pictures and so that's what I do. For sure. That's just me. Hey, that's just me for sure. And you do you and I'll do me boo. I got our rainbow flag out and hung up. Yes. On our sign out by the road. So happy pride month. Yeah. It's June. It's June. Happy pride, and hey just be who you are. We love you friends. Feel what it feels like inside and stay present here. Your inside. Notice it. Yeah. And respect it. Respect it. Yeah. And you'll do better and you'll, and it's what other people need that are around you. It all works out better. Okay. Our friends a chef, and she made a delicious ragu. Yeah. All right. Hey, peace and love you all, and, we're gonna grow and get better this week. And make it your best day too. End week. Yeah. We're gonna be better the next time you hear from us. Peace and love. Peace and love. Bye.