Let Me Tell You This About That

Possibilities--Moving into a Better Place

• Hess and Delbert • Season 1 • Episode 41

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This morning on our Sunday chat, Hess and Delbert add onto last weeks podcast that was on Imagination—what can come next is possibilities.  When we sit with what is, and are able to feel it, we can think of new ways things could be.  We can see opportunities of changing something, doing something new, or even just looking at it in a new way.  It begins with wondering, being with it, focusing, then moving into creativity.  We change things for ourselves in our own personal world.  We can change things that would be good for others also.  Surround yourself with people who are positive, that tell you they believe in you.  Give yourself the creative space to focus in.  Then act and move to the implementation of possibilities.   Hess gives a salute to the life of Andrea Gibson, the poet laureate of Colorado, who just passed away from a long fight with cancer on July 14th.   In her messages and poems she often gave us the possibility of looking at challenges in a new light.  

I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. This week José received radiation in his lower spine every day. We are awaiting the next CT Scans. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==





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Hess:

Welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us on our Sunday morning chat. My name is Hess. I'm talking to you from Lexington, Kentucky at Carriage Station Farm. Sitting in my white chair looking out my window at the asparagus growing up, and I've already picked the Red Tomatoes, so I don't see any. Where are you at Delbert?

Delbert:

As always, I'm on the green couch here in Louisville, Kentucky. I know you think, I always say it's a beautiful day, but it is another beautiful summer day in Louisville. Just got back from the Golden Isles St. Simon, little St. Simon and Jekyll Island, so I did get off the green couch this week. Everybody, just so you know.

Hess:

Yeah. On Delbert, I said, how'd the drive go about coming back home? She's a realtor and she didn't have anybody riding in the car with her. And so she'd have to like, pull off the road and do some follow ups and make some calls and all kinds of stuff. Like they say, when you do that little, is my destination and it says it's gonna take 10 hours. That doesn't include gas, it doesn't include any any walking stops. And it does not include calling your clients and calling repairmen.

Delbert:

It doesn't include working contracts or trying to walk off your trucker hip

Hess:

Yeah. So welcome back home, Delbert, glad you're on the green couch. Glad you had a great time with your family.

Delbert:

the golden aisles to back to the green couch. Here I am. Yeah.

Hess:

The golden Isles, I never knew that it was called Golden Isles.

Delbert:

They're so pretty. Ev There's something that grows, in the low part, the low country part of those islands, and it's like amber. It just gives off this beautiful golden amber cast to everything. And I drove over the marina during sunset when I was getting there. It was just, oh, it was spectacular. Just beautiful. Just beautiful. I got to go with my darling society and my oldest daughter and son-in-law and we just had such a great time and got back and had more work to do. But I got up this morning and I'm so excited about our topic because it's a continuation of our imagination. Conversation about creating possibilities.

Hess:

So was thinking about that Delbert, like when we use our imagination, it, then I feel like then the next thing that happens is it opens up possibilities. So I'm a glass half full person and I know that you are too Delbert, and so what makes me feel good in my heart? Is the possibilities of good things to happen having good things happen. And so that's what we'd like to talk about in our Sunday morning chat today. Food for Thought about possibility.

Delbert:

And so one of the things that you need to. Get your imagination and your, and the things that you wanna dream about for the future. Possibilities. You need focus and dedication. So if you're dreaming about something and you really want something, no matter how small it is, just get you a little list out. And just start writing a plan. And honestly, I hate when people say, oh, I can't do that. Really trust yourself, believe in yourself, and write it down and just start focusing on what are some little bitty small ways that I can bring this closer to a reality.

Hess:

And you're using this little recipe, Delbert wonder and creativity, being able to wonder about it. You're thinking about it. How could I turn it around this way? Or how could I turn it around that way? And comes out from where we are now to what we think could happen. So you're doing things like in new paradigms. I wanna give you all, I wanna give you all a life experience of my own to ground this thought that I'm having right now. Would that be okay?

Delbert:

Sure. Let's hear.

Hess:

so I'm graduating from college December of 1980. to say 1980'cause that would make you think that I graduated in four years, but really it was four and a half. so I have my resume. My dad says, what are you gonna do? Your resume looks like you're a free spirit.'cause I had on there riding my bike across, riding a tandem bicycle across the country.'cause I thought that would show. Future employers that I had dedication. Anyway, dad says, what are you gonna do?

Delbert:

I am impressed by the way, so I would hire you.

Hess:

Dad, my dad reads my resume. He says, what are you gonna do? And I said dad, I think Lexington needs a fruit market, so this is what I wanna highlight here. And take a yellow highlighter. And. I like this Dad's reply to me saying, I think Lexington needs a fruit market. My dad said, look into it. Boom. What a, what? A beautiful reply back to somebody's idea, which opens up the possibility. It doesn't get stopped. Had a good friend growing up, really good friend. Her dad's a psychiatrist. She would have some idea and he would go oh, and do that. Reply one of her ideas. But my dad goes, we'll look into it and. That created and that opened up possibility. Then I go talk to somebody in Louisville that's in the fruit market business. That's my next conversation. I go talk to Earl Thieneman. I say, Earl, I'm thinking about my name's, and I just graduated. I'm up in Lexington. I'm thinking about a fruit market in Lexington. He goes, if I was your age right now, I'd be up there right now at the fruit market. And so the positiveness around that. Positive possibility, right? Pretty similar words that feedback that I got helped stay helped that possibility open up. I didn't have the door shut.

Delbert:

Exactly,

Hess:

it's important with possibilities is not to have the door shut.

Delbert:

and I think, one of the, one of the things that you need to hear in your life, especially your young life, is that you're valuable, that your ideas are good. And that you can become the author of your own story

Hess:

Love that.

Delbert:

your dad was giving you the power to do that. And that's so beautiful.

Hess:

What's that? What's that line in the movie? The Help. Where the nanny would tell the little girl use is beautiful, use is, good,

Delbert:

You as Kind, you as smart, you as important.

Hess:

you is, kind, you is smart, use is important, so that little child felt like she had possibility.

Delbert:

She knew that she was important and that she could do the right things in her life and wow. What? Just validation. She was given the little children that she was raising. She did that with all of them. She said, I love that book. If that comes on tv. That movie I, I watch it. It's like

Hess:

sure

Delbert:

for me it's like Overboard, Tootsie or Tommy Boy. Like those are my core. Yeah.

Hess:

makes you feel

Delbert:

Gotta watch'em. Yeah.

Hess:

So Delbert on still talking about the fruit market. There weren't any fruit markets in Lexington. think about this. This is important and I never thought about it this way. That difference is the root of the possible. So I saw that something could be different for Lexington,

Delbert:

Yeah,

Hess:

have

Delbert:

exactly.

Hess:

And some people that I'd tell, and my my, my parents had a good friend up here in Lexington, Mary Hensley. And I told Mary Hensley about the fruit market and she goes, oh, we got the farmer's market. And I tell other people, oh, we got the farmer's market, but I saw that a regular fruit market is different than a farmer's market. And we'd be open every day.

Delbert:

Yeah.

Hess:

eighty items versus three items. And so difference really is the key to possible because we see that something could be different and we think we could see ourselves doing something or maybe changing the way something's done. That could be that could be better. A new paradigm. Yeah. So it leads to a different perspective, right?

Delbert:

Absolutely. Yes. It's and how many years did you have that successful fruit market?

Hess:

15

Delbert:

Wow. And did you sit down with a pen and paper and you formulated all your research and you.

Hess:

No, it was still, it was just an idea and then thinking about the possibilities and then doing the next positive step to make it happen. Yeah, no I didn't break it all down on paper. I was fortunate that I was able to. I a lien on an apartment building that my dad had given our, the kids, and I was able to take a lien on that and borrow against it and buy the property, build a building put a big walk-in, cooler in, get a truck. And I was able to pay all that off like in three years.

Delbert:

That's awesome. I'm a pen to paper kind of gal.

Hess:

That's good. That's good. We need you. We need you.

Delbert:

I write it all down every day. Yeah.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. So possibility and They're the, they're numerous. Once we decide to act and not react, George Bernard Shaw said that the possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react. so my dad's positive feedback helped me act more than react and think, oh, okay, I guess I won't do this. Yeah.

Delbert:

So you were focused on it.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

The important things about focus is to make sure you get plenty of rest, Avoid distractions. Practice mindfulness or meditate. And we talked about mindfulness as a superpower. Really just to sit and be present. And that's when you're, when you're rested and you're not worried about something else, or, you take time to take yourself out of other situations that can take away your focus from what you really are planning. And exercise. And then also, I'm really bad about being hard on myself. When I take breaks, I really I'm trying to be better about it, but I'm really hard on myself about that. Give yourself breaks, break things up into smaller tasks so you can feel like you can check that off. And it's really nice if you can have a dedicated workspace. Now I do have an office in my house, but I don't use it. It's more like just storage for all my files. And I love to work looking out the big window. It's where we do our podcast. It's where I write down everything. I've got my little novena candles here and and. Once I'm done working I pack everything up and put it in my office. Where, my company comes over and loves to sit, I call it the conversation area. It's two big green couches facing each other. I guess I compartmentalize the green couch and make it a space, but whatever it is, you don't have to have a dedicated space that the point is, and here's my point you can make yourself a dedicated space just. Anywhere, at your kitchen table, just anywhere.

Hess:

A, a place where you feel good, where you feel expansive, where you can feel creative, where you can bring in the positive, where you can sit with the mindfulness,

Delbert:

Exactly.

Hess:

Super well. There's the possibility of an office expansion for you, Delbert. Where for in your definition of office, in your home. It's the place where you have your files. It's not the place where you sit to

Delbert:

Right,

Hess:

office is where your files are and your creativity and your work takes place in the place. That feels really good to you.

Delbert:

exactly.

Hess:

I love that. I love that. I love that. And so also possibility, Delbert, thanks a lot for saying the things that, the focus, the intention, the mindfulness, the being around shut down any negative put down thoughts that you're having your own brain be around people that will support the possibilities. That's really good. And so we need that good voice in our head. We need to be able to look at the challenges and see them as opportunities, right? Instead of obstacles, right?

Delbert:

And if you're not, if you don't have a really supportive dad like Hess did, surround yourself with good people, you deserve that in your life. And so go find your village that's supportive. Go out and find it because once you get focused and you make your plan, then you need to be dedicated to it. You need to come back to it on a regular basis, right? You need to

Hess:

Right.

Delbert:

have that dedication, like being a basketball player. Go and practice that shot every single day. Keep going, keep doing your fundamentals.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

Everyone can do that. Everyone can do that. It's not you, every single one of us has the power to create change in our lives.

Hess:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And so this is personal. The small changes we could make in our life. That could be. And what makes it successful is it's for your, it's for the good of yourself and others. Okay. Yeah. And so that is really cool and we all can do that. I love that Delbert, we encourage you all to all do that is what are the possibilities in your life? And use your imagination, see them, and then move towards making that a reality. It's a new, it's a new perspective. It's a new paradigm. There's no reason why that paradigm. Can't be successful. And sometimes, like in, in inventions and so forth, you have to even look at it a different way or call it something different. I was reading an article Delbert about low income housing and what do we need to do to help eradicate homelessness. Instead of saying homelessness, it's instead of, call it low income housing, call it affordable housing.

Delbert:

Yeah. All that comes from a legislative, all the thing, all the things that need change really. I need to be focused on bringing people up instead of pushing people down. That's all legislative. Yeah. I love that. Our gov, speaking of that, our governor just approved, three different areas and I don't know where they are just yet. I just saw the headline and it didn't give specifics on in the article, but we're investing in affordable housing in Kentucky, three different sites. I'll be excited to see where they're gonna be.

Hess:

Love that. Love

Delbert:

Yeah, it's, it is I think it's like 2.5 billion, something like that. It's a huge project. I'll have to. We have to make a list of things that we need to do housekeeping on so we can come back. And

Hess:

For sure.

Delbert:

that just came to mind because I think about possibilities and imagination and your dad and mine. First of all, just imagining these neighborhoods where there's just land, right? And the possibility of that. And then actually. Making that become a reality and part of the imagination. That's so important. There's three parts, but the challenging part can you imagine the obstacles that they ran across when they were creating a neighborhood and they really had to reimagine things when that challenge came in?

Hess:

Exactly. And it's not really a roadblock, it's not an obstacle. It's an opportunity to

Delbert:

right, it's hidden. It's a hidden opportunity. So Hess, tell everyone'cause this, I thought this really went with our topic today. You sent me that link.

Hess:

Oh yeah, you all, we lost somebody. That is so beautiful. You need to look her up if you don't already know her. Andrea Gibson beautiful soul. She's the poet laureate for Colorado and she'd been fighting cancer for a long time and like part of. Part we went along the people that were in touch with her kind of went along with her struggle and her journey with cancer. And she just passed away day before yesterday and on one of her is it called Instagram Delbert? Is that what it's called?

Delbert:

Instagram. Yeah.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. So on Instagram look her up, Andre Gibson. She talks about She wants to make five points. If you're really anxious and you wanna try to not be so anxious and not feel so much fear and anxiety, she says, challenge yourself. Live your life. Do the opposite. Move into the fear,

Delbert:

Take risk. Take risk if you're feeling fearful.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. And then the second thing is if you feel overwhelmed and grief stricken she says, welcome it. be with it. Feel it. Yeah. Allow it, with the mindfulness of it. Yeah. And then their third one is, if you ever feel in your life that you're lacking. Put attention on what you have to give. So if you feel lacking, put attention on what you can give. I did that a lot. I lived close to a an elderly home Delbert and if I ever felt like I was lonely, I would. Go to the nursing home with my dog and boom, that would knock that totally outta me. They just love the dog and all of that.

Delbert:

That's beautiful.

Hess:

if you feel lacking, give, if you ever feel like your life is out of control, stop trying to control it. Release the control, and the last one. And it ends with love. If you ever feel unloved love. She said, if I ever die, I wanna have stretch marks on my heart.

Delbert:

I love that. That's beautiful. Love.

Hess:

Talk about how this relates to possible Delbert.

Delbert:

I think when you're stuck. When you're stuck and you're maybe you're even, I think sometimes when you have fear or grief, the t, the first two and she says, these are all counterintuitive to the way that you would think about dealing with them. And you feel stuck. You. Dream about taking risk and see the possibilities of what you can do. When you, Once you welcome that grief in and you sit with it, you open yourself up to the possibilities of going past grief, right? And past your fear. And I think it's a good lesson in abundance. You know how many possibilities your life does have when you give.

Hess:

Wow. Yeah.

Delbert:

And when you fear, when you feel like your life's outta control, a lot of times that's because you are trying to control every little minute thing around it. And when you let go of that first of all, you free up a lot of damn time, right?

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

Let go. Think about the endless possibilities that are in that you've just given yourself half a day back. And then, you know what? We're all just here on this earth to just love love. And the more you love, the more love you bring into the world. And that creates the thing that I visualize in the morning when I send that gold light out. The possibility of a world just filled with love, right?

Hess:

And you got that love. You got that gold light surrounding you also, Delbert. So when we love, we get more love. When you give out your gold light, you have the gold light surrounding you also.

Delbert:

Exactly. So I just thought that you sent it to me last night. I was too tired. I had a lot of work facing me when I got back Friday. And then yesterday I spent the day just catching up on everything. And so you sent that to me and I was like, I will read that in the morning'cause I'm so tired.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

but anyway I just thought it was perfect. I got up and. Listened to it first thing this morning and it was a great way to start the day. So I hope it helps you podsters and hope we got you thinking about ways to, just be the author of your own story. Have the power to create change in your life if you want it and use that big, beautiful imagination that you have. To help

Hess:

create the

Delbert:

the world in the universe.

Hess:

I love how you ta all this into abundance, Delbert, and. Okay, everybody think about possibilities. Zig Ziglar says, when you look at the possibilities instead of the problems, future is filled with endless opportunities.

Delbert:

Yes. I love Zig Zigler. He's got a lot of good ones.

Hess:

Yeah. right, y'all, thanks so much for joining us on our Sunday morning chat this morning, and move into possibilities.

Delbert:

Absolutely. We love you friends. We hope you have a wonderful week filled with beautiful imagination and possibilities.

Hess:

Peace and love.

Delbert:

Peace and love.