Let Me Tell You This About That

Mentorship: Learning from others who have learned from others.

• Hess and Delbert • Season 1 • Episode 43

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Hess and Delbert have a great conversation this morning about mentoring. When we mentor, it helps someone else, but it also helps ourselves.  Hess just attended the Freedom Dinner for the Healing Place the night before.  The Healing Place is a free addiction and recovery facility in Louisville and now in Campbellsville Ky.   They honored the past director Jay Davidson for his over 35 year career at the Healing Place.  There are 125 employees and 85% are alumnae.  Hess read that the International Space Station crew safely splashed down yesterday morning.  They were replaced last week by a new crew.  Anne Mclain who had been in space for 148 days talked about how amazing things can get done with world collaborations.  The predominant theme was gratitude for the experience together, and the things they accomplished.  It was a “snapshot of humanity.”   “When you reach your goals, send the elevator back down.” McClain wrote.   Delbert and Hess expand on that in their own lives, how they have learned and then passed on down their knowledge and experiences.   Even our loves get passed down—Delberts love of the water to her kids and darlings, and Hess with her horses, and her pastime on her boat.   Peace and love,  Listen and share and give us some feedback!










I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. We are awaiting the next CT Scans that will tell you where he is after his second round of treatments. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999

In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com

One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!

Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.

Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==




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Hess:

Hey, welcome to our Sunday morning chat. My name is Hess and I'm looking out from my little white chair by my bedroom window at the sun shining on the green grass. I'm glad we've gotten a little bit of rain. Delbert, what's it look like where you're at?

Delbert:

Oh my goodness. Of course I'm on the green couch as always, and I'll tell you the sunrise this morning. I had a little bit of a golden cast to it, and so the sky is not a brilliant blue. It's like a pale blue and white. It's a beautiful sunny day here today again in Louisville, Kentucky. Hello friends. Welcome to our podcast.

Hess:

Yeah, and I wanna catch you all up. My name's Hess and I got this nickname back in grade school. We had some little Spanish class that went on for a short period of time, and my Spanish name. Was probably Yesi with more of an H than a J. And there was a little group of friends here and we gave each other names and Delbert was Heimi Delbert. That was a little bit longer story than just Spanish class. You didn't like your Spanish name or something right.

Delbert:

Oh, that was Enrichment, so I did theater. And you did Spanish? Yeah, so I wasn't in the Spanish class.

Hess:

You have such a good memory. So that little section of learning was called enrichment and I took Spanish. You took theater. All that makes sense. That makes sense.

Delbert:

Yeah. And Ms. Baldwin, do you remember her? She was our art teacher. I just connected with her on Facebook through the MGC Mother of Good Counsel Facebook page, and she is just, looks exactly the same. She remembers everybody and, she said, oh my gosh, Judy Watson, I remember you had such a big family and I didn't teach you, but I had you for a few things. And we had her for art in seventh and eighth grade. And then she taught theater, which I always did. Theater in enrichment. Yeah, we did the Charlie Brown story one year. You're a good man, Charlie Brown. And then okay. Going back to enrichment, we also did a talent show and I made you do it with Dewey and I, do you remember that?

Hess:

No, what did I have to do?

Delbert:

Big Spender. We did a little song and dance to Big Spender and my grandmother had made me all of these. She put my initials on everything. She embroidered my initials on everything. Ma'am. All Dorothy, we're always talking about her and Papa Charlie. She made me these like kind of flapper, drop waist dresses with the little ruffle bottom. I don't know how I got you into that thing, but Dewey and I talked you into it. I had three of them and then we had these long pearls and we did like a little twenties version of big Spender.

Hess:

Wow. Del,

Delbert:

you don't remember. Okay. All right.

Hess:

Delbert and I go back to first grade Council. So we're 67 now, and we're. We have known each other for 60 years, and these Sunday morning chats help us with our week and get our, get us lined up on, on stuff. And so we decided we would start putting that in a podcast and maybe to help you. what we'd like to talk about today and talk more about is mentoring and lifting people up, like passing on knowledge and all those kind of things, being a helper. So that's what we'd like to talk about today.

Delbert:

And so one of the things that you were telling me about was the NASA story has, do you wanna talk about that?

Hess:

Right the International Space Station astronauts all landed in the Pacific Ocean. Pacific Ocean. I always say Pacific Ocean. Yesterday morning and one of the astronauts. I think her name is Ann McLean or something like that. She said it is just so beautiful that all of these different countries, somebody from Russia, Japan, herself, from these different countries, all these different countries work together. And we've had somebody at the International Space Station for 25 years and what a collaboration that is. And unlike some of the geopolitical things that are going on, she said, if we work together. We can do great things, she said. And if you go up in the elevator to, to your goal, after you reach your goal, you need to send it back down.

Delbert:

Beautiful. I love that so much.

Hess:

Delbert, I was just at the Dinner for Freedom last night, celebrating the Healing Place and commemorating Jay Davidson beginning to pass his baton. And so that everything still keeps moving forward in, in even greater ways and. In that dinner, just so many people got up and spoke and said that they're an alumni. There's about 125 employees and 85% of them are alumni, and they're there. They get into a mentoring program and then they mentor others. And it's being able to be an example and be able to say, Hey, you can get to where I am now. It's just. That's so beautiful about life. We're all connected and we can raise each other up.

Delbert:

Yes. I love that. And that I had gone to the Healing Place with you. We've talked about your dad how he helped start the healing place. And we've visited before you, you did a really long visit recently, but we, last year we went and we witnessed the detox center where it takes people so long to detox from ent. Alcohol is one thing and then, other drugs are another, but fentanyl takes people, I think he said six to seven days to come off, which is the longest of anything. Yeah, it was heartbreaking to, to see the people and there, there were about 30 people in beds there, just, trying to. Be quiet. They, they had dim,

Hess:

the lights.

Delbert:

Yeah. Just soothing and people were just trying to recover. So that's the first step. And they is the detox. And then the next step is the motivational track.

Hess:

right, it's also beautiful and it's this whole system, and we're gonna get Jay on. Some sometime real soon, Delbert, to talk about all that because it's amazing and it's a program. They have a, they have a 65%, 70% success

Delbert:

That's a, that's so beautiful and so many people are connected to the healing place here in Louisville and around the state of Kentucky. It's touched so many families lives. It's touched mine. And I know yours Hess in a really big way, and you, you just can't even say the Healing Place and somebody will tell you a story about somebody they know who.

Hess:

Hi. His wife said last night they can't go anywhere. They're in an airport anywhere and people come up to him. just say, Hey, you changed my life. was in an Uber eight years ago or so, driving back to from Louisville because of snow to the, from the airport in Louisville, back to Lexington. And my driver said, oh, your last name Bollinger, that sounds familiar. Are you related to Jess Bollinger? And I said, yeah, that's my dad. He goes the healing place saved my life. He says I teach there now.

Delbert:

oh my gosh. Is that elevator? Sending it down?

Hess:

Yes. Yeah.

Delbert:

Sending that elevator down. Keep.

Hess:

And it, it's just if I can do it, you can do it.

Delbert:

Yes.

Hess:

yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Delbert:

So beautiful. So beautiful. We've gotta keep helping each other and lifting each other up and sending that elevator down.

Hess:

and then they were also talking about when you lift somebody up. maybe helped them get their kids back.

Delbert:

Oh,

Hess:

helped this whole family, all of the other people that get helped also.

Delbert:

And then, just the other side of that is you help yourself.'cause when they're in recovery and they're helping their peers, they're helping themselves too. Stay sober reinforcing the program. So it's just this big connective circle, just like we talk about life, it's just a big circle. Yeah.

Hess:

circle. And also something that was talked about Delbert that you've talked about in here is one fellow was saying, he was told like, get outta yourself. Look around,

Delbert:

Yes.

Hess:

And sometimes when we're really in a bad spot and we're feeling so bad, as we've said, you gotta feel it a little bit and then look beyond yourself and look at something that you could do out there for somebody else. It's exactly right.

Delbert:

Yes. Yes. That's how you know we started Carol's Kitchen. It's how your dad helped start the healing place. Once you feel that impact. And you're still, and you look around, you can see that there's other people hurting and that you can be a part of recovery not just for yourself, but for everybody around you, and you just keep connecting it and sending that circle and that gold light.

Hess:

Yeah. And Delbert, I'm taking a course right now, a continuing education course. Started it yesterday about opioids and the effects on families, and they made the point, if we don't go, if we don't go beyond and help. The people that are addicted, if we don't help them emotionally and mentally, if we just go after the drug is gonna metamor the drug's gonna metamorphosize into something else. somebody else can get. Like cocaine was very expensive. A hundred dollars or whatever like that. And so that kind of limited the number of people that could go to that for that drug outlet. So that, that morphed into these smaller little bits of it that, that these little crack things and these little. These little cluster deals that could be like smoked or whatever. So that got more affordable, so as in the community that your sister was in, because she was killed by a drug addict. The opioid crisis there in Huntington, re Huntington, West Virginia, because that was flooded with all of these pills by the drug company.

Delbert:

Right.

Hess:

They saw people, hardworking people and connected them to these pills, got'em addicted to these pills, which helped the companies bottom line. And all of that became noted, and that started to stop. And so heroin became cheap. so heroin then became the drug of choice. So unless we go and help the people themselves, we're not gonna really help this addiction problem and this overdose problem.

Delbert:

And poverty is a really big part of that.

Hess:

Delbert, you're reading my mind. You're reading my mind. So the drugs become available in cheaper quant, in, in cheaper ways. And then the de. The people that can afford that are expanded and the more we don't build up this really hit me yesterday is we gotta build up the middle class. The more we make, either people are really rich or really poor, if we don't have this strong, good middle class we're just making, we're, it's. We're making more people more susceptible to not feeling good about themselves and feeling damn.

Delbert:

It's a cycle. It's a cycle. If we have so many people below the poverty level, we're starting another cycle. Because when you have that much, I'm just gonna say it like Leanne Morgan, when you have that much on you, right? So much of a burden to carry and so much despair. You can't feed your children. You, you can't pay the rent, you can't pay the house payment, you can't keep the lights on. You are going to seek an outlet that gives you some relief.

Hess:

Yeah, you are not feeling good. Feeling

Delbert:

And so many times that cheap pie that you know, what whatever's available is what people fall into. And and we do, we need to lift up our working class. We need to lift up our working poor and take care of each other. And it seems like a big. Huge thing to do. Like maybe we're just making one drop in a big, huge but I can tell you just from the things I've done with Carol's kitchen, I just sometimes feel so small. So small, like I, I'm not feeding enough people. It's just such a small charity. And then I think about the movie Schindler's List. And if you only change one person's life, you do change the world. So focus on that one person, Focus on that one drop.'cause if we all put a drop, we can fill the well up.

Hess:

Yeah.

Delbert:

gotta stay together. We gotta stay together Because it's one thing to help, the working. And the working poor you can't just say that you're for them. You gotta show it. You gotta do it. You gotta really do the work. And so many politicians say things that are absolutely not even true. Absolutely. The complete. Freaking opposite of the laws that they're putting in into place the legislature that they're passing. When I go places locally that are larger organizations than me,'cause I do try to cooperate a lot with with other agencies that are bigger than mine to, to stretch my dollar and to feel like how can I cooperate with them. We've worked together. They'll tell you this, a lot of the budget cuts for these organizations to feed people. It's very much on a legislative level that we need help, that we need change.

Hess:

Let's break it down. If kids are in school hungry, they can't really feel, they can't, they don't have the energy to study or to focus or to pay attention. And so they don't get a good education. They don't, they and kids from my the educational thing pointed out that. There's less attunement. Maybe in these homes where there's addiction, there's less attunement, so the kids aren't able to learn socialization skills very well. And then they get some mental problems themselves of not being attuned to, they have trouble with attachment, then they go to school, and then plus if they're hungry, just all these things add up so much. And if you don't have that healthy, vibrant child who's getting a good education. do they see any positivity out there in the world?

Delbert:

Exactly, and it just, that becomes a cycle too. Another circle, a destructive circle that becomes another circle. And not only to your body. Does this breakdown happen Because you don't have a nourished body, so you're not growing correctly. It also happens to your mind as well. You're, you, a lot of these children have behavioral problems because they're not getting the nutrients to their brain either.

Hess:

Good point. Good point.

Delbert:

Thankfully in Jefferson County, here in Louisville, Kentucky, every child can get a free breakfast and lunch at school. Which is so important.'Cause sometimes they've gone the whole weekend without food. And so charities like Blessings in a backpack and Dare to Care here in Louisville really do try to fill that gap and, so thankful for them and all the other charities. I just work more closely with them and we've talked about this topic before, but I'll probably never shut up about it y'all, until there aren't any anymore hungry people in the world.

Hess:

Okay. Delbert, I expect that from you. If we get away, let's talk about our own life. How we've sent the elevator down after we've reached a goal in our life. one thing here at the farm that I love, just being at the farm. Seeing everybody that might have a horse that has a horse here, seeing them reach their goals and dreams, I've reached goals and dreams and I like that to be able to have the place where they can reach their goals and dreams. So that is just really fun. And then when I get when I get requested, when I find out people are in. Getting their master's of social work or getting their counseling degrees I say, Hey, give me a call. I wanna, I'd really love to share what all I've learned and what modalities I think are really effective. I'd like to spread that. Like my grandpa always said, you learn from others who have learned from others and. In your story, Delbert you you've talked about how you got into the, to the firm that you're in, and can you say more about that and how you've sent the elevator down to, to people also.

Delbert:

This is very serendipitous because I actually, this week I've had the busiest week, but I've had two agents who've sent me contracts on my listings who have said, you know what I. This is the first contract I've ever written. I just got my license, so I have two first time agents I'm working with, and I said, you know what? I'll tell you, I love working with new agents because you're fresh, you're enthusiastic, and we're gonna work this out together. I'm older. I've been doing it a long time and I'm so happy because I was around great seasoned agents when I first got my license and I love listening to them. I loved, asking them questions and getting great answers. And so I'm gonna pay that forward to you. I'm gonna send that elevator down. Actually this is a good week to talk about that because it's actually going on in my life in a really big way right now. And it's just been really fun. Really fun to work with these young agents.

Hess:

I can imagine them and their vulnerability, Hey, I'm new. I've just begun. And what it feels like for them when you hear, say, when they get. when they get the response from you, Hey, that's wonderful. I'm glad. I love to work with new agents. I bet they just exhaled and they felt oh, this is good. This

Delbert:

Yeah. Yeah. So it's a great time. It's a great time. We're heading into the end of summer. All of our listings are going under contract, and it's just a great time to be working, but to have these new agents coming in it's been really super fun. Love it.

Hess:

Are there any other parts of your life? Where have you sent the elevator down? Delbert.

Delbert:

I hope so. I hope so. Carol's kitchen, I feel like I do that with our family's charity. Just teaching other people what we're doing and just lending a hand, I think. But I also hope that I do that with my friends. When I figure something out that maybe they're working on. And I feel like I do that with my children and my family. My daughter sent me a really funny meme on Instagram, had this one mom sitting on a boat and she says, you only have 18 summers with your children. And then it. Turns to this lady that kind of looks like how I go to the pool, with the matching sunglasses. She's got heart-shaped sunglasses and a matching bathing suit. And she says, I just had my 44th summer with my kids because that's, I'm just make them participate. I send the elevator down to them about the water and being on the water and being outside. Whether they like it or not. So anyway, that was super funny because, we just all went to the beach together and we go to the pool together a lot. So I just thought that was really funny and so true. So true. I'm not letting it go, man.

Hess:

Yeah, so that's a whole aspect of sharing is something that you love. Inviting people in and sending the elevator down and letting them come up to, to, to the water or whatever your path, whatever your sport might be or your that you love.

Delbert:

exactly. And you do that for me too, Hess, because I love to be on the water, but I don't have a boat and you've always shared your boat with me and gave me the confidence, to go and rent a pontoon and tube my grandkids, that's probably something that you did sending the elevator down without even thinking about it. Right.

Hess:

Yeah. And you drove that pontoon boat back to the state dock through a big, huge downpour.

Delbert:

Yes. Oh my gosh. The darling Society loves to tell that to people. They're like, yeah, my darling, my grandmother can drive a boat in a storm. Yeah.

Hess:

Yeah. Yeah. That's super. Delbert, I love you and we'll we'll talk more about this and I'll get Jay Davidson on here sometime to talk more about the Healing Place and how they use that mentorship to help people get off. Whatever they're addicted to and people helping people help people.

Delbert:

Yes, get outta that bad cycle and onto a good cycle of healing and helping others. And so we love you so much. Friends we hope to hear from you how you sent the elevator down in your life, what you're doing and how things are going for you. We hope you have a great week.

Hess:

Yeah. Peace and love.

Delbert:

Peace and love.